Highlights for today:
1. I got a job.
2. I had to pee in a cup.
Late this afternoon, the temp agency called me. The woman who set up my interview wanted to know how it went.
"All right," I said, "You know it's hard to tell with that stuff sometimes."
She said she would call and "follow up" and call me back.
She didn't call back for half an hour, so I figured I didn't get it.
Apparently the woman who interviewed me yesterday "loved" me and wanted to know when I could start.
"Tomorrow, if she wants," I said.
"GREAT. That's what she's hoping to hear. She's already making your keys."
So yeah. Holy shit. My first interview post-Wal-Mart and I got it. Rad.
BUT FIRST I had to pee in a cup.
The last time I had to pee in a cup I got nervous and couldn't go. I went with my mother for my Wal-Mart drug test and performance anxiety overtook me. I couldn't pee. I drank an entire bottle of water before I left the house and I couldn't pee. So I drank a bunch more water and waited twenty minutes. The next time I tried I went JUST enough that it was a viable sample. And then I got home and peed a gallon.
I managed to pee enough this time, on command. As I was buttoning my pants I noticed there were instructions on how to pee in the cup, which I had neglected to follow. "Do not touch your genital area to the cup" the wall instructed. Well, I'm sorry to say that I sort of did. You aren't going to get crabs from my cup! As my brother once overheard a girl say on the bus in junior high: "My pussy clean." Seriously. What thirteen-year-old girl says that?! Anyway.
So, yeah! I'm employed again. w00t.
In other news: I may be putting one of my Sculpey zombies on eBay. Check back later for updates.
1. I got a job.
2. I had to pee in a cup.
Late this afternoon, the temp agency called me. The woman who set up my interview wanted to know how it went.
"All right," I said, "You know it's hard to tell with that stuff sometimes."
She said she would call and "follow up" and call me back.
She didn't call back for half an hour, so I figured I didn't get it.
Apparently the woman who interviewed me yesterday "loved" me and wanted to know when I could start.
"Tomorrow, if she wants," I said.
"GREAT. That's what she's hoping to hear. She's already making your keys."
So yeah. Holy shit. My first interview post-Wal-Mart and I got it. Rad.
BUT FIRST I had to pee in a cup.
The last time I had to pee in a cup I got nervous and couldn't go. I went with my mother for my Wal-Mart drug test and performance anxiety overtook me. I couldn't pee. I drank an entire bottle of water before I left the house and I couldn't pee. So I drank a bunch more water and waited twenty minutes. The next time I tried I went JUST enough that it was a viable sample. And then I got home and peed a gallon.
I managed to pee enough this time, on command. As I was buttoning my pants I noticed there were instructions on how to pee in the cup, which I had neglected to follow. "Do not touch your genital area to the cup" the wall instructed. Well, I'm sorry to say that I sort of did. You aren't going to get crabs from my cup! As my brother once overheard a girl say on the bus in junior high: "My pussy clean." Seriously. What thirteen-year-old girl says that?! Anyway.
So, yeah! I'm employed again. w00t.
In other news: I may be putting one of my Sculpey zombies on eBay. Check back later for updates.
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
1stxer:
All is good then. I had been away for so long I thought you still worked at Wal-Mart ... in the bakery.
lordjim:
Your journal entrys are great! You tell a story well sweetie and your unabashed realism, whether it is farting in a shop or peeing in a cup, make me giggle something chronic! 
