Mother of God, spring has sprung, I am so wound, for what reason, I don't know...got decently cast in our next production, the budget is going to be huge and right now my schedule is managable; so why are my shorts in such a knot? 
I mean, I've been sober for a year now but I feel like such a non-drinkin' DORK, 'specially on this campus with all the younguns' who used to see me just get hammered! WTF?!
Saw my counselor today, and yes, once again, was reduced to tears by the end of the session, just to release all the tension. She mildly hypnotized me today, I believe...I was lamenting about wanting to go on vacation somewhere remote and before I knew it, she had me sitting on a beach somewhere with a lovely woman snuggling into me on a beach chair under a palm tree by the seaside. I used to think that sort of fantasy was totally asinine; now it sounds like heaven on earth...Mother of Buddha, help me, I'm getting so very weird.
I mean, I've been sober for a year now but I feel like such a non-drinkin' DORK, 'specially on this campus with all the younguns' who used to see me just get hammered! WTF?!
Saw my counselor today, and yes, once again, was reduced to tears by the end of the session, just to release all the tension. She mildly hypnotized me today, I believe...I was lamenting about wanting to go on vacation somewhere remote and before I knew it, she had me sitting on a beach somewhere with a lovely woman snuggling into me on a beach chair under a palm tree by the seaside. I used to think that sort of fantasy was totally asinine; now it sounds like heaven on earth...Mother of Buddha, help me, I'm getting so very weird.
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A fire?!?! Wow.
I don't think you're getting weird. I think you're just figuring out what used to matter, what used to make sense, just doesn't now. I think it's a good thing. You can get better focus without letting the distractions that used to have such power over you suck you in.
You AREN'T in the best environment, because it seems like the young'uns are onto something, seeming to have a better time than you are. And maybe the drink is part of it....?
I feel the same way sometimes, with nearly a decade on some of the kids here. But I've done all that "young-and-stupid" stuff, and all it's ever made me feel like is shit.
Naaah...I'm just waiting personally. There's a hobby or career or activity or something that's just right for me, waiting. For now, I just stick with my real friends and my computer. VERY geeky but I don't care, because the alternatives didn't make me feel as good.