blah blah blah i am going to start updating a lot, cause my membership runs out in a month, and i do not think i will renew. i dont really know if i want to support suicidegirls anymore, cause it seems like such a good idea has gone down the toilet.
today i learned that my two year AA degree can have two specializations for about 35 more credits, so i am thinking... after i build some credit, i can get student loans to finish school, and just work part-time (in a year or two) to finish up my classes faster. then i will get a REAL JOB, with computer art and design. haha then i can start making porn and comic books, and start a band with a bunch of girls to tear shit up with.
when i turn twenty one next month i am gonna hit up the bars and GIRL4GIRL parties and try to get a date, with someone who is cool w/being safe and understanding of NSA relationships and/or polyamory.
FUCKING SHIT i really just want a single kiss, before i turn twenty-one.
the last girl i kissed was about thirty minutes ago-max...my roomate and lova for the past five years. then before that would be...heather, my mate chris's gf (and stupid crush of mine) which was june 05, gay pride parade...and there started that crush. last girl before that, my ghost and personal lesson in loss...which holds me within its fucking sad memory, goddamn. i unfortunately have wasted the opportunities i've had, and built up these irrational fears...
need to replace with happy, hopeful!!!! you know, that nervous...jumpy kinda feeling? just plant one on me....
sorry, i am ranting. well i have met a ton of new people this year, at concerts and thru mike and my new job. starting to get my shit together slowly, i guess i dont need therapy after all!? but sometimes just want to blah blah blah and so i put it out on the internet, like a retard letting my guts spill out all over the place.
guts. i am alive, and cannot be ashamed or afraid of the fact that i need this female attention.
today i learned that my two year AA degree can have two specializations for about 35 more credits, so i am thinking... after i build some credit, i can get student loans to finish school, and just work part-time (in a year or two) to finish up my classes faster. then i will get a REAL JOB, with computer art and design. haha then i can start making porn and comic books, and start a band with a bunch of girls to tear shit up with.
when i turn twenty one next month i am gonna hit up the bars and GIRL4GIRL parties and try to get a date, with someone who is cool w/being safe and understanding of NSA relationships and/or polyamory.
FUCKING SHIT i really just want a single kiss, before i turn twenty-one.
the last girl i kissed was about thirty minutes ago-max...my roomate and lova for the past five years. then before that would be...heather, my mate chris's gf (and stupid crush of mine) which was june 05, gay pride parade...and there started that crush. last girl before that, my ghost and personal lesson in loss...which holds me within its fucking sad memory, goddamn. i unfortunately have wasted the opportunities i've had, and built up these irrational fears...
need to replace with happy, hopeful!!!! you know, that nervous...jumpy kinda feeling? just plant one on me....
sorry, i am ranting. well i have met a ton of new people this year, at concerts and thru mike and my new job. starting to get my shit together slowly, i guess i dont need therapy after all!? but sometimes just want to blah blah blah and so i put it out on the internet, like a retard letting my guts spill out all over the place.
guts. i am alive, and cannot be ashamed or afraid of the fact that i need this female attention.