wolk

So I'm going to try to make a point to write a journal everyday except when I'm gone. Anyway....

I just want my fucking desk
So, this is a small part of a very large, frustrating story (which will be a journal in itself later), but yeah, I don't have my desk set up. The comp is currently on the floor. Why you ask? Because corporate America likes probing my anus.

So, I ordered this desk, it was shipped on time, so awesome I think. I open it up, "hmmm aren't there supposed to be screws and stuff in here....ah fuck." Call the company up, a week later, I get the hardware for my desk. Finally I can get my desk assembled and save myself some back pain. I open the parts up, start assembling the desk then "ok part 5 gets screwed in here, there should be two of them...where are these things...ah fuck." Yup, they fucked me again.

So now I'm waiting for more pieces and eventually I can have my desk and my chair and half of my room will be complete.....

yeah and my bed is awesome, I sleep like a fucking rock in it straight through, every day

I suck, I rule
So yesterday I stroll into work feeling ok. I come in and someone says "Hey here's a bug you may know about." So I check it out, yup, the bug stems from a fix I impelmented a few days before. I think and I say "hmm didn't we just release a new version to the public this morning? I think this bug is in it." Yup, it was. Yeah, I totally fucked up. Fix one bug to make another so all the people can see.

I was down because I was now that asshole that I hated as a gamer who fucked up and made people jump through hoops to do mundane things or ruined some sort of experience of theirs. Yup, that was me yesterday morning.

But after like an hour of cracking down, I fixed it and released new stuff, so John Q Public is happy with me again. I felt so <sarcasm> not 1337 and a major n00b. </sarcasm> But yeah, so, I sucked but I'm ok now.

Strange Dreams
So I have been having very realistic dreams lately (past 6 months), this one isn't realistic, but totally strange. So, to make a long story short, my dad was somehow doing something nice but had very evil ulterior motives. Not sure what exactly but he was like helping poor people to then later, once he's befriended them, take all their money, kill them and do something weird...the details are now a little fuzzy.

Anyway, at some point in the dream, my mom shows me what's really up with my dad and how he's not as good as everyone believes him to be, so she asks me to kill him because she can't (don't remember why). So I agree. At some point, I grab and ice pick, and jump on my dad hacking away. He tries to stab me with the knife in his right hand by playing dead until I stopped, but I noticed and sent his knife away. Eventually, I couldn't contemplate what the hell I was doing and I have one of those moments of clarity that my dad wasn't the evil one or maybe he was or maybe my mom was fucking with me. So I stopped, I didn't kill him, just made him bleed a lot.

I woke up a little later and then went to work, but wtf is up with that? Who dreams that his mom wants him to kill his dad? Pretty fucked up shit I say.

Tough guy eh?
So, don't take my pic seriously. I was trying to "look tough" for this silly picture with Subrosa and then I realized that was the only picture I had of myself in the past year+ So, anyone who knows me, should think that's a kinda funny pic; I do.

Gonna be that guy
Yup, I'm gonna be that guy that gives a song lyric that fits his current mood. I'll do it for this entry and see how lame it makes me feel.

I've decided there are a lot of things I would change about myself but ya know what? No one is perfect and I'm feeling ok with myself. I'm doing what I can, trying to make people happy, and trying to give people a little more faith in humanity.

"To be yourself is all that you can do"
Audioslave - Be Yourself

Current mood: Content