wolfwood

My minds bothers me about lots of things. I don't like that sometimes I'll just keep thinking about things, and I can't make the thoughts go away, even when I really want to, but talking about it would be like shaving the hair over my lip: even though I know it's there, doing something about it is admitting that it exists.

I called my friend today and I didn't recognize his voice. I feel like I don't have anything in common with any of them anymore. Like we're disconnected. I don't really have any close friends, at all. Not even close friends who live far away. I wish Jessica would move back here. I'm afraid she's going to be trapped in Green Bay forever and turn into her mother. What ever happened to going to California? Things change, I guess. People grow up. People change. Reality hits you and you realize you can't do everything you want to do. I watch little kids' shows and they always talk about how you can do anything you put your mind to, how if you apoligize and are sincere, that makes everything ok. I guess its better to shield kids from reality so then when you look back on your childhood, the memories will be happy, but I don't know anyone who had a happy childhood. Being a kid can be just as bad as dealing with reality, and in some ways, I guess it's worse because you can feel things without understanding them, and you have a harder time making up bullshit to justify things because you haven't had as much practice.

The hearts are rotting in my fridge. I better go cut them up so Pansy will have some dinner.