wolfwood

Getting into arguments with Kiki AGAIN. She's too fucking passive about EVERYTHING. It drives me crazy and someday it's probably going to screw her over really bad, but I don't want to burn any bridges and just come out and say, "Stop being so fucking passive, stupid. You're not getting anything done and the entire world is not your boyfriend who puts you on a pedestal and can practically read your mind." It's like she's in a permanent state of teenager waiting for the entire world to understand that her silence means they are all retarded and should die. It's not going to fucking happen, so stop complaining about stupid people, and if you care so much about animals, advocate for laws to protect them instead of finding jackasses who know nothing to complain about. It's not like I'm a total activist for everything I believe in, but preaching to the choir and seeking out bad examples to bitch about it is just fucking pointless. And I could say something really mean to her right now and it would totally be like one of those ultimate comebacks you think up two hours too late, but like I said, she's part of my circle of friends, so it would put a huge kink in my social rotation. I should've just kept my mouth shut in the first place because she'd have to undergo a complete personality overhaul to not be the most passive person in the world, and I doubt even that would work. These are the kinds of problems that arise when you have the friendship-making capabilities of a department store dummy and your circle of friends is so incestuously close as to feel as if at times it were strangling you. Not that my personality isnt utterly horrible and repellent nearly all human contact, but I still dont like feeling that I cant say things I want to say or do things I want to do for fear or losing all my friends and being alone, or feeling even more like everyone secretly hates me. Even when Im absolutely quiet, I feel that way. Its worse when Im quiet, in a way, because it gives me more time to think, but people always like quiet people, because quiet people let you do the talking.

This is why it's nice to have a secret online journal so I can say whatever I want without worrying about pissing off anyone I know.