To clarify quickly this is basically just a vent/rant. But given I don't use much in the social media world other than like discord, I figured why not. So i suppose be prepared for a wall of text.
I have been in several long distance relationships, it doesn't really bother me. Hell I have even nearly been married twice but life is what it is(both were local but still). When it comes to anyone I am with, they have my unconditional trust to start with as long as they don't burn that , I am quite happy. As long as she knows I love her and I know she loves me. That is good enough.
However in this one we had been together for almost 4 years and we had gotten together before covid hit with the understanding we may not work out due to distance or moving out to england(where she lives). Before covid hit i went out to the UK to see her, to confirm our relationship, and it went very well. So we hit it off wonderfully. She even came out here for a great time, taking her to the phoenix zoo, the movies, and probably too many orders of wendys(she became obsessed with frosties). Then covid hit and there was a big delay on me being able to get out there to see her.
During this time I had been trying to figure out about moving out there but covid put a huge wrench in that. With the jobs i could take pretty much taken by storm given i am just retail, it was looking pretty bleak. It was a good while before i was able to see her again. But see her i did and it was a great time. However it was hanging over us the whole time and the restrictions got a lot worse. Sure covid wasn't as much of a thing anymore but the damage was done for the UK along with other reasons the ability to get a visa got far worse. Eventually it became obvious through research that getting one would be nearly impossible, certainly for standard, and a marriage visa wasn't what she wanted to do and even that i knew from a couple was taking more than 6 months with almost no progress.
So a decision was made...and our relationship ended. I love her dearly but it is what it is. We are still good friends since we are both adults and knew something like this could happen but it wouldn't of...if it wasn't for covid and all the situations in the past year or so that has caused so much difficulty.
It feels...off not really having any plans or goals anymore when all was still going through my mind to have things done in the next year. Those goals and plans are gone, no reason to move to the UK anymore, so it just feels weird now. And it took a while to hit.
For now ill just live the day and day, see what comes my way.
But yeah. Fuck covid.
