Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

wolfetone11

Minnesota

Member Since 2004

Followers 263 Following 1197

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Minnesota, USA

Feb 2, 2020
9
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
This right here.... hilarious!!
Welcome to Minnesota. You probably have a lot of questions. We don’t blame you. It’s cold (it’s been colder, as someone already told you) and there are giant piles of snow and people keep talking about “Juicy Lucy” and you don’t even know a Lucy. Here’s what we can tell you.
-Please enjoy Nicollet Mall. It took us 12 years to finish the thing.
-Please enjoy US Bank Stadium. We built it on top of our old stadium. It would deflate when it snowed. It snowed a lot.
-Please enjoy the Mall of America. We built it on top of our other old stadium. That team went to a lot of Super Bowls! Don’t ask us any questions beyond this!
-Please enjoy First Avenue. It’s an old Greyhound bus station. Prince and some other local kids made it a church.
-The elevated sidewalks that connect downtown buildings are called skyways. One visitor called them “skybridges” and his body never was found.
-Tom Brady’s grandma is from Browerville. To get there, get on 94 and go west for a couple hours. Not on Fridays, though; it’s a total shitshow with a bunch of guys named Dale towing pontoons or snowmobiles.
-Take the Glenwood/Sauk Centre exit and go north on US 71. You’ll hit Browerville in about a half-hour. The Muni is probably open if you need a Heggie’s Pizza.
-On your way to Browerville, you’ll drive through Maple Grove. Sisqo lives there now. Yeah, “Thong Song” Sisqo. We don’t know what that’s all about, but there was a story about it in the paper. Just passing this along.
-Hotdish, not casserole. Casserole can go jump in a dang lake.
-When we almost collide in a doorway, we will say “Ope.” It’s pure instinct at this point. We don’t know why we say it. We’re sorry we ran into you. We said “Ope.” Let’s move on.
-Flannel, blaze orange, and camo are not seasonal fashions so much as foundational lifestyle choices.
-Choppers are big golden/yellow mittens. You can get them at Fleet Farm. They have a silo in the parking lot.
-The three preceding sentences could be the most Upper Midwestern sentences in existence.
-Black ice is not an energy drink. Avoid unless you like tow trucks and auto body repair.
-The snow/dirt/ice/salt/sand mixture on the bottom of our cars? Snow boogers, or just gunk if you prefer.
-You call them parking garages. We call them parking ramps. Honestly not married to this one, so if you want us to start calling them garages, we’ll work with you.
-You call it soda. We call it pop. We don’t get it either, but that one’s not changing.
-You’ll engage in a conversation about the weather with a native Minnesotan. We literally cannot help it. It’s a compulsion. We got a ton of snow last week, but it was nothing like the Halloween Blizzard of 1991. See? We’re already doing it.
-People who have very strong opinions about the aforementioned Juicy Lucy. It’s basically a reverse cheeseburger (beef on outside, cheese on inside) that has a creation myth still being fought over to this day. Friendships have ended over the Matt’s Bar/5-8 Club dispute.
-Be ready to experience first-class passive aggression. If someone says your old school Ron Jaworski Eagles jersey is “interesting,” they are not a fan. If someone says, “I’m not mad,” they are, in fact, mad.
-If you get to a 4-way stop at roughly the same time as another driver(s), your best bet is to just abandon the car, get out, and walk to your destination, as who gets to go first will never be resolved by conventional means.
-Our parks, trails, and museums are pretty goddamn great. We don’t brag often, but when we do, we mean it.
-RE: The “Fargo” accent. unless you get outside of the metro area, you won’t hear it. Once you get to the suburbs, you’ll hear traces. Once you get outstate, it’s like being in the movie.
If you find that accent, you’ll find a meat raffle. It’s exactly what it sounds like.
Copy and paste if you love being a Minnesotan !
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
weedfarmer:
@wolfetone11 When you get a chance, go look on my page. I posted 4 videos today you might like hot country girls.
Feb 7, 2020
wolfetone11:
@weedfarmer will do!
Feb 7, 2020

More Blogs

  • 06.21.25
    6

    SUMMER QUESTIONAIRRE

    My Brother from Down Under @metalfreak was kind enough to tag me. T…
  • 09.10.24
    10

    30 years of wedded bliss to my wife Roxanne, my favorite almost sg (s…

    Read More
  • 07.24.24
    3

    True story. Today my wife asked me what “two in the pink and one on t…

  • 10.12.23
    3

    Fall/Halloween questionnaire

    This is going to be a fun questioner with some fun, personal…
  • 01.01.23
    1

    Year end review

    One word to describe the year? -Transitional Favorite Movie of…
  • 11.21.22
    4

    This or That Thanksgiving style

    Football (hate parades) PJs 24/7 Definitely apple (ala mode…
  • 02.28.22
    3

    Tips?

    Does anyone know if our Russian Girls are still getting their tips…
  • 08.09.21
    5

    Summer quiz

    One of my oldest SG friends @skisby (length of friendship, not…
  • 06.09.21
    1

    Today is 69. I’m just sayin’.

  • 06.02.21
    3

    Happy international sex workers day! Bless you for all you do! 💋

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
11
months
30
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,608 SuicideGirls
  • 1,112,987 followers
  • 14,969,624 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,512,431 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo