wolfbloodlust

ive come to relize when im away from family and love ones here in iraq i have alot of time to think about my life and who i am as a person and came to the conlusion im a protector in everything to my family im the oldest of four boys and where im over seas im protecting my family and friends. and i guess it where im a the oldest ive always wanted to help and protect loved ones fro things pain or anything period.its even transfered to my realationships ive always dated chicks who are fucked up or need protected from someone and i dont even try to find them they find me i guess its where im such a good listener and have had a hard past and have been through so much shit at a young age i can relate to alot of people. but i walk around hating the world i never smile when im alone im so cynical and hateful towards everything. but then have a female around me im still the same way but its never directed towards them most people translated it as im funny so i guess i just have a dark sense of humor buti also have my soft side which is rarely seen. i guess im such a good listener is because i put on such a hard persona that not many people come to me with problems. i swear im crazy or bipolar well this is just a little insite to me :/