So I went to get my haircut a couple of months ago, my usual hairdresser had left and I was given an appointment with Lorraine. During the appointment she and I really clicked and I could tell that she really liked me.
I knew I liked her, but it takes me time to fully explore all of my feelings and digest situations. Thats just how I work. When someone steps towards me too quickly, my natual instinct is to step back a little to give myself room - whether I like them or not. I'm also very careful about who I have relationships with...in the past I've had girlfriends who perhaps weren't totally right for me...by the time I've realised this they've totally fallen for me, and they've been devastated when I've ended it...and seeing how much they've been hurt, in turn really hurts me...so now, for the good of all, I make sure I'm sure.
I'd been thinking about lorraine a lot when I met her in the street...she was really nice and still obviously really liked me...but I hadn't had time to fully digest things, so although I was very friendly with her, that's all I was.
After thinking about lorraine for a month I decided I did really like her, and that I'd ask her on a date the next time I saw her. I had my appointment, but this time it was really awkward...she was quite stand-offish and told me she was being taken out that night. I decided not to ask her out.
I thought about things for another month, and decided that I still really liked her...and that I'd test the waters during my next appointment, and ask her on a date - this was two saturdays ago...we got on really well again, and I was like "wow, she's amazing"... but she told me she was moving away from the area and today was her last day, she was finishing her packing that night and moving first thing in the morning. I was gutted. I said "take care" and left the shop.
I was walking home thinking about it and then thought "fuck it, I can't let it end like this...without ever knowing"...so I go to a flower shop, buy her some gorgeous flowers, wrote in the card that I was sorry she was leaving and stick my phone number in. I take the flowers back to the shop and leave them at the reception for her.
Thats the end of the story. I haven't heard from her. Thats cool...at least I'll always know I tried...and never regret not trying.
xx
I knew I liked her, but it takes me time to fully explore all of my feelings and digest situations. Thats just how I work. When someone steps towards me too quickly, my natual instinct is to step back a little to give myself room - whether I like them or not. I'm also very careful about who I have relationships with...in the past I've had girlfriends who perhaps weren't totally right for me...by the time I've realised this they've totally fallen for me, and they've been devastated when I've ended it...and seeing how much they've been hurt, in turn really hurts me...so now, for the good of all, I make sure I'm sure.
I'd been thinking about lorraine a lot when I met her in the street...she was really nice and still obviously really liked me...but I hadn't had time to fully digest things, so although I was very friendly with her, that's all I was.
After thinking about lorraine for a month I decided I did really like her, and that I'd ask her on a date the next time I saw her. I had my appointment, but this time it was really awkward...she was quite stand-offish and told me she was being taken out that night. I decided not to ask her out.
I thought about things for another month, and decided that I still really liked her...and that I'd test the waters during my next appointment, and ask her on a date - this was two saturdays ago...we got on really well again, and I was like "wow, she's amazing"... but she told me she was moving away from the area and today was her last day, she was finishing her packing that night and moving first thing in the morning. I was gutted. I said "take care" and left the shop.
I was walking home thinking about it and then thought "fuck it, I can't let it end like this...without ever knowing"...so I go to a flower shop, buy her some gorgeous flowers, wrote in the card that I was sorry she was leaving and stick my phone number in. I take the flowers back to the shop and leave them at the reception for her.
Thats the end of the story. I haven't heard from her. Thats cool...at least I'll always know I tried...and never regret not trying.
xx
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
I strongly recommend chocolate. Or cocktails. Or both.
Finally: post something new - I look like a friggin' stalker on your comment list!
I went off on a tirade in the "Dear ______," thread about how I saw the skank that my ex left me for at the grocery store the other day for the very first time. I didn't use any names but I described the entire situation, and then about a day or so later he removed me from his friends list - both here and on MySpace.
Well, what the fuck did he expect, honestly? I have no respect for him whatsoever. I could literally not trust him to walk across the street by himself without trying to pick up a woman. He made me feel extraordinarily inadequate in the four months we were together, over at least three or four different women that I can think of.
I am over it for the most part - I know it doesn't seem like it, but I am in love and we are currently in the process of ring shopping. However, seeing her brought back flashes all of that old hatred. I can't help it - I'm human.