"I'm not dead yet!"
I did however recently get a piercing!
I got a key through the middle of my hand!
Long story short, I was walking up the stairs outside my apartment keys in my left hand and my cellphone in my right. On about the third step from the top I slipped. Instead of putting out the hand with the cell and possibly breaking it, I reached out to catch myself with the hand that was holding my keys. I heard and felt a pop as my PO box key punched about half an inch into my hand, just a little below the center.
When I stood up, the keys were still dangling out of my flesh.
I did however recently get a piercing!
I got a key through the middle of my hand!
Long story short, I was walking up the stairs outside my apartment keys in my left hand and my cellphone in my right. On about the third step from the top I slipped. Instead of putting out the hand with the cell and possibly breaking it, I reached out to catch myself with the hand that was holding my keys. I heard and felt a pop as my PO box key punched about half an inch into my hand, just a little below the center.
When I stood up, the keys were still dangling out of my flesh.

glad to be feeling somewhat more human.