witchartist

I am approaching my 54th birthday (this Saturday as a matter of fact) and as I do so I am thinking of what has gone on over the past 50plus years. I was going to write about the past, but would rather go down that road with my therapistits too scary otherwise. I can say the severe bullying, attachment issues, loss of my sister before I could ever get to know and love her, social development problems, and feelings of total worthlessness sure made a mess that I am only now beginning to clean up. At least my parents didnt beat me. The future is so uncertain. I think of my health and wonderbut that scares the hell out of me, too so I will just concentrate on NOW. For awhile now Ive been jealous of younger men who seem to have all the opportunities in the worldplus the looks, etc. But now I realize that 54 years (almost) of experience must be worth somethingand I kind of like looking a little like Mark Harmon in MCIS! Actually, that brings me to another pointlooks. I know SG is about uniquely gorgeous models who give new meaning to the word beautifulbut I have to say the ladies I have befriended here have much more going for them than just physical beauty. They are intelligent, witty, deep, soulful, and spiritual beings who transcend what is considered beautiful. Through the friendship of a few of these special ladies I have come to realize some things about who I am. I am special, I am worth something, I can make a difference in peoples livesmainly with my pencil and brush in what I create, but also by being as good a friend to as many people as possible. What good is friendshipand loveif you dont give back three times over what you receive? As far as friendship, you will never find a more loyal, caring, or empathic friend in me. I know that is a monumental claimand considering my track record of non-existent self-esteem, pretty bold, but I feel its true. I need for it to be true. As I walk my path and start my 54th year on this earth and in this life, I thank the Goddess every day for those friends I care for and love so deeply. They make me want to be a better man, to reach higher, look for something better in myself. I hope this makes sense and touches something in whoever reads it. For me, writing this blog is like a spiritual experienceseems like Ive had lots of those recently! I know I will think of more to write as soon as I post this so there may be a part twofor now I have drawings to make and a paper to write about Special Ed. And 504 plansI cant wait to graduate! I was going to thank a bunch of people here, but Id feel terrible if I left anyone out so Ill just say thank you to ALL of you for your support and caring. I can be a lot to take sometimes, but if you can stand the craziness I will make it worth your while. I love you allyou mean so much to me, more than you can possibly know.