witchartist

Hi Blog,
Well it has been quite a week! I came to several conclusions about myself and why I feel the way I do, about myself, my past, and my future. I find it hard to talk about because the emotions are so raw, so near the surface. My nerve-endings actually burn the anxiety and feelings are so all-encompassing and deep, the depression so crushing at times. I thank the Goddess I have two outlets (in addition to my artwork and music) to express myself, otherwise I would give it all up, end the pain now. I have a great therapist and I have here. My therapist listens and does not judge, only points to my strengths and how I can use what is inside of me to overcome the obstacles in life. Here...well, you know how I feel about the ladies and my friends here. I love you more than you can possibly realize. The need in me to feel special, worth something is coupled with a need to be remembered, not forgotten. It must be something in my past that makes me feel that if I don't scream "Look at me...Notice ME" I will fade from peoples' memories and be just another face in the crowd, a nobody, nothing, worthless. How I got to this point is another question, years of bits and pieces of disappointments, put-downs, and just feeling bad about myself...all built one on the other until a demon was created inside me, ready to take my spirit and crush it. Now to the future...I am on the edge more often than not - that I could give in to the demon, but I can't help feeling I can get through it. There is too much that is good and sweet in the world, why give in now. I did a Rune pull for myself recently and the stones kept telling me I would face adversity and find the strength to overcome...and the Runes don't lie. So, lets just see what this week has in store! I know one thing...I love all my dear friends here. Such a source of friendship and support...makes me cry tears that are happy.
Take care, stay safe and have a stupendous week!
XOXOXOXO