wisp

So I'm remodelling my personality to some degree
these days. Stuff I want to get out of my system that I don't really like personality-wise and are up front and center in my field of willingness to accept are in operation in my life.

One nasty one is coming from (Meaningless personality theory #568). So its being kind of a name dropper. Like I'm not worth knowing/talking to if I don't make sure everyone understands who are my "friends". It makes me feel icky and whiny. Like i'm tiny and jumping up and down yelling 'pay attention to *ME*'

So the indian food night was great. It was my first non-formal department party. Kind of like family, I wouldn't nec. get to know many of these people outside of the circumstances that have brought us togther... but others I def. would.

Anyway, One of the people's room had a flyer for an event about/for someone I know in a non-friend but warm acquantaince when we see each other kind of way. So I was sitting next to the owner of this flyer, and the feeling that I needed to tel her that the celeb. was a _friend_ of mine was trying to come up in that icky heaving kind of way...

I didn't mention it but was uncomfortably aware of my personal limitations, impulses and habits. That feeling is kind of what I am all about today. Dance class was really hard. We are being taught a piece that our dance teacher is going to perform next month and it was kickin me hard among other things in recent days.

Good concert tonight with a friend whom is really hard to get ahold of... That should be really fun.

Personal growth is hard....*whine whine*