APATHY

The dictionary defines apathy as one of two things: "the absence or suppression of passion or emotion" or "the lack of interest in or concern for things others find moving or exciting".

The second definition describes me to a perfect T. Yesterday I realized that my life in recent years has become a void of disconnection and indifference. All around me people are enjoying the lives they have, regardless of what it is, and I'm just going through the motions like I'm watching a slide show. A random question by a co-worker asking what do I do for fun was met with my honest and unhesitant answer of "nothing". The answer just flowed right out of me. The fact that it was 100% accurate was equally disturbing to me.

I've never been like this until recent years. It fueled the crumbling of my 8 year relationship, it's turned me into a judgmental and unsocialble jackass, and has paved the way for my anger to take center stage more often in recent years. All because I stopped genuinely caring. Ten years ago this was deffinetly not me. Hell not even five years ago. I need to do something about this.

If you took the time to read this any advice you may have and wish to give will be considered. Thank you.