wilona

First things first.

The boy. You know who I'm talking about. I need to get this out because it's doing my head in. And I know you guys will listen.

I found these lyrics when I was tidying my room today...
As far as lyrics go, they're complete shite, but they made things a little bit clearer for me.

___________________________________________________________________________

I don't believe you anymore
Give me one good reason to believe your words mean shit
You led me down this road
But you won't even hold me
Tell me you love me
Tell me that you hate me
The lies will entangle
And soon you're gonna fall
Everyone sees you for what you are

My heart beats for you
But I think yours might be dead
Push me away
Heartbroken and alone
And leave me out in the cold

As the sky falls

I want you to know I'm yours
Let it rain down on me
I want you to know I'll wait forever
Rain down on me
You're the black cloud hanging over me
But you're all I can see
Rain down on me

____________________________________________________________

Reading that made me realise a few things:
- It's completely unrealistic to believe that I can put my life on hold while he makes up his mind about me
- There are plenty of other guys who will (and want to) treat me right
- He's making me miserable and I don't need that

So I've made up my mind about us. I'm not waiting anymore. I just can't. It's breaking my heart. Yeah, I love him, and yeah, I'd love to get to a point where we could get back together and make things work. But I just don't see it happening. I'm sick of him telling me that he still has feelings for me, but asking me to give it time. I think I've given it long enough. I need to stop this now.

On Tuesday it'll be 3 years exactly since we met. So on Tuesday, I'm giving him everything I've written to or for him in the last few months. I want him to know how I feel, and I want this to be it. He needs to understand that I've waited long enough for him, I've been punished enough for what I did and I need to move on.

So that's that.
I'm seeing other people. I went on a bit of a date last night actually, and it made me really happy I'm finding it a bit difficult getting used to someone telling me I'm pretty, holding my hand and genuinely wanting to spend time with me. But I've realised that Alex isn't the only one in the world who finds me attractive or fun to be around.

So yeah.
*Sighs*

On another note, I'm really enjoying being back in SG land Hoping to shoot something proper soon with my lovely Vermin-head, KABOOSH!



And yes, another hair colour...
Which will probably last a few days as I'm going back to blonde



I gots my tongue pierced too First ink should be coming soon, oh the excitement!

Lots of love,
Wil
x

And of course, some of my favourite sets from MR I think you should check out