Yeah, I know I haven't been around for a while.
It's been a bit mental lately to say the least.
Nothing much has changed since my last blog, I'm still finding everything with Alex really hard to deal with... Actually, more so this week. He moved out of our old place and into a new flat with one of his mates. And it just hit me how fast he's moving on without me. I'll never be able to sleep in 'our' bed again, I'll never be able to cuddle him on 'our' sofa, I have no memories of us in his new flat and I hate it. All I can think about is his new life, and that I should be the one moving in with him, not Chris. I hate it. It makes me so so sad. I don't want him to move on without me, I want my baby back
It's just so painful.
Apart from that bullshit, I'm doing fine.
Just working and partying, same old thing.
I've been thinking recently...
I'm gonna give it a few more months with Alex, because waiting around for him to forgive me and take me back is really killing me and I can't handle it anymore.
If it's over for good, I'm leaving.
Disneyland Tokyo are holding auditions in London at the end of the month for characters.
Not only have I always dreamed of getting paid to prance around in pretty dresses all day and make children smile, Japan is THE number one place I want to visit in the whole wide world.
Maybe 6 months away from the stinking UK will do me good.
Plus it'll give me a chance to improve my Japanese
Well, I won't get ahead of myself.
I haven't done any acting in a good few years, and I'm terrified.
But I keep telling myself I want to get back into performing...So I reckon I should.
It'd be stupid to miss out on an opportunity like that.
In HAIR news....
Well, I might as well just show you with pictures.
It started off with dark red...
Then it got a bit brighter...
And a bit brighter...
And then once I'd gotten it the colour I wanted, I decided I wanted to go back to my natural blonde (what an idiot)
Soooo I pre-lightened it....And it went orange.
After another lot, it was pink, orange and yellow.
Like some kind of fish... Or one of them Fruit Salad sweets.
So I did it AGAIN.
And this is the colour it is now.
And even though I want to be blonde again, and am HIGHLY pissed off at the red thart won't budge (I've never had problems with getting colour out before!), I'm actually quite liking the orangey colour it is now So I'm just going to enjoy the peachyness until my hair's in good enough condition to strip it again.
Oh yeah, and I know some of you have been wondering where my first self-shot practice set was...
I deleted it.
I hated it.
It was terrible.
So I shot something new...
Which is still terrible...
And I still hate...
But it's better than the last pile of shite
Check it out.
It's been a bit mental lately to say the least.
Nothing much has changed since my last blog, I'm still finding everything with Alex really hard to deal with... Actually, more so this week. He moved out of our old place and into a new flat with one of his mates. And it just hit me how fast he's moving on without me. I'll never be able to sleep in 'our' bed again, I'll never be able to cuddle him on 'our' sofa, I have no memories of us in his new flat and I hate it. All I can think about is his new life, and that I should be the one moving in with him, not Chris. I hate it. It makes me so so sad. I don't want him to move on without me, I want my baby back
It's just so painful.Apart from that bullshit, I'm doing fine.
Just working and partying, same old thing.
I've been thinking recently...
I'm gonna give it a few more months with Alex, because waiting around for him to forgive me and take me back is really killing me and I can't handle it anymore.
If it's over for good, I'm leaving.
Disneyland Tokyo are holding auditions in London at the end of the month for characters.
Not only have I always dreamed of getting paid to prance around in pretty dresses all day and make children smile, Japan is THE number one place I want to visit in the whole wide world.
Maybe 6 months away from the stinking UK will do me good.
Plus it'll give me a chance to improve my Japanese
Well, I won't get ahead of myself.
I haven't done any acting in a good few years, and I'm terrified.
But I keep telling myself I want to get back into performing...So I reckon I should.
It'd be stupid to miss out on an opportunity like that.
In HAIR news....
Well, I might as well just show you with pictures.
It started off with dark red...
Then it got a bit brighter...
And a bit brighter...
And then once I'd gotten it the colour I wanted, I decided I wanted to go back to my natural blonde (what an idiot)
Soooo I pre-lightened it....And it went orange.
After another lot, it was pink, orange and yellow.
Like some kind of fish... Or one of them Fruit Salad sweets.
So I did it AGAIN.
And this is the colour it is now.
And even though I want to be blonde again, and am HIGHLY pissed off at the red thart won't budge (I've never had problems with getting colour out before!), I'm actually quite liking the orangey colour it is now
So I'm just going to enjoy the peachyness until my hair's in good enough condition to strip it again.Oh yeah, and I know some of you have been wondering where my first self-shot practice set was...
I deleted it.
I hated it.
It was terrible.
So I shot something new...
Which is still terrible...
And I still hate...
But it's better than the last pile of shite
Check it out.
VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
I know that you don't believe it, neither did I, but you will be ok. With or without him. It would be nice if he came back and everything was ok (just like it would be nice if I could forget and look at her without imagining what happened) but you are so much more than one half of a couple. One day, you'll realise how strong you are and you'll be proud that you came through it.
I'm here if you need to talk about it. Or anything else.