Hello Suicide World,
It's been quite a while since I've written a journal entry, 4 months to be exact. I figured it was time to let you all know that I'm still alive out here and to reflect on the year that has pass.
Unfortunately, 2006 shall end not much different than it began, with me still searching for something to keep me in the world. Furthermore, I increasingly experience serious bouts of antisocial behavior, which includes weeks/months where I isolate myself from everyone. This entails not talking to anyone for extended periods of time. In my mind I just want to be left alone, and fade away. As a result, I have experienced many emotional ups and downs in the last 12 months.
However crazed I may psychologically be at times, I now look at the year 2006 as one of lessons. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad. My summer for the most part was filled with highlight after highlight: 19 days on the road (which included wildfires in Kansas, UFOs in Arizona, and twisters in Texas), the annual WCU poetry conference (that reassured me that art has healing power), and there were some good times at the fun filled ECC trip.
But once you get too high, there is nowhere else to go but down. The year saw the emergence of several new people into my life, as well as being abandoned by some. I admit where it was my fault, either naive or purposely causing a feud_ But another case I am still unclear of what went wrong. Either way, I know I made choices and hurt people. I regret hurting the feelings of someone I cared about, but I can't take that back and must live with the consequences.
Now maybe I am just complaining to complain. After all, this year nobody died and I still have my health. Maybe I'm just complaining because I've grown weary in my search for that "something to keep me in the world." Maybe it's because I'm a poet and I fell I need to suffer. But I will end my year with a half-frown on my face and not a smile. 2006 was one of lessons, and hopefully in the new year those lessons will pay off.
Well that wraps my year, and I once again doubt if I'll be updating my journal for a while. So for all of you, I wish you the best over the holiday season and into the next.
Truthfully,
William Trinity Espinet III
p.s... Completely changing gears and keeping with tradition, in the past I have shared my favorites of the year list. Here it is once again:
Will Trinity's favorite CDs of 2006
1) Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
2) Pretty Girls Make Graves - Elan Vital
3) The Roots - Game Theory
Best New Band - The Raconteurs
Best Concert - Yeah Yeah Yeahs @ the troc
Favorite movie '06 - V for Vendetta
Favorite Book published in 2006 - Beth Goldner's The Number We
End Up With
It's been quite a while since I've written a journal entry, 4 months to be exact. I figured it was time to let you all know that I'm still alive out here and to reflect on the year that has pass.
Unfortunately, 2006 shall end not much different than it began, with me still searching for something to keep me in the world. Furthermore, I increasingly experience serious bouts of antisocial behavior, which includes weeks/months where I isolate myself from everyone. This entails not talking to anyone for extended periods of time. In my mind I just want to be left alone, and fade away. As a result, I have experienced many emotional ups and downs in the last 12 months.
However crazed I may psychologically be at times, I now look at the year 2006 as one of lessons. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad. My summer for the most part was filled with highlight after highlight: 19 days on the road (which included wildfires in Kansas, UFOs in Arizona, and twisters in Texas), the annual WCU poetry conference (that reassured me that art has healing power), and there were some good times at the fun filled ECC trip.
But once you get too high, there is nowhere else to go but down. The year saw the emergence of several new people into my life, as well as being abandoned by some. I admit where it was my fault, either naive or purposely causing a feud_ But another case I am still unclear of what went wrong. Either way, I know I made choices and hurt people. I regret hurting the feelings of someone I cared about, but I can't take that back and must live with the consequences.
Now maybe I am just complaining to complain. After all, this year nobody died and I still have my health. Maybe I'm just complaining because I've grown weary in my search for that "something to keep me in the world." Maybe it's because I'm a poet and I fell I need to suffer. But I will end my year with a half-frown on my face and not a smile. 2006 was one of lessons, and hopefully in the new year those lessons will pay off.
Well that wraps my year, and I once again doubt if I'll be updating my journal for a while. So for all of you, I wish you the best over the holiday season and into the next.
Truthfully,
William Trinity Espinet III
p.s... Completely changing gears and keeping with tradition, in the past I have shared my favorites of the year list. Here it is once again:
Will Trinity's favorite CDs of 2006
1) Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
2) Pretty Girls Make Graves - Elan Vital
3) The Roots - Game Theory
Best New Band - The Raconteurs
Best Concert - Yeah Yeah Yeahs @ the troc
Favorite movie '06 - V for Vendetta
Favorite Book published in 2006 - Beth Goldner's The Number We
End Up With
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
cgkitti:
hey, i've been absent on SG for a bit too...it's cool though. living catches up with you
fenchurch:
Thanks! 
I'm doing well, and am also never on anymore. Hope the internetless life is treating you well also.
I'm doing well, and am also never on anymore. Hope the internetless life is treating you well also.