williamtrinity

RE-EVALUATION

It seems like I am always re-evaluating my life. Probably because I am never 100% happy with my status. But I pretty much had an all-nighter of giving life another assessment. This after it’s cruel hand gave me a slap in the face. A slap that would have came eventually, but the inevitability did none to lessen the blow. {Insert idiom about the girl of my dreams finding someone new, here.} So as I sit on the brink of my 26th year of life, I once again don the introspection lenses to determine what is important to me in order to get on track to happiness. Here are my thoughts on one of the central concepts, which directly relates to what
caused this most recent re-evaluation:

Relationships and the such – Though I feel I am in no stable mind to start a relationship, this is something that pretty much governs my mood. It’s a simple equation: Will in a relationship = happy, or Will not in a relationship = sad. No, I am not one of those
“miserable singles” who hate being alone. It’s just when you have spent so much time alone in the past—discovering who you are, what you want—you come to a point when you want someone to share life with. This is where I am. I thought I found that person last year, but the slap in the face has made
me realize otherwise. It also made me consider that I have been selling myself short. I deserve better than what I have had in the past. I deserve better than a girl who yells at me and talks down to me. Or a girl who doesn’t trust me, even though I never did anything dishonest. I deserve better than someone who tells me “I wish you would date someone else” while I lay in bed next to her. I keep falling for these girls who treat me like sh!t. Girls who take advantage of the fact that I would do anything they say. And though I doubt “the one” will walk into my life anytime soon, I know that she will one day.

Recently my dad gave told me the simplest, but smartest, thing I have ever heard while we walked out of seeing King Kong. Who would have ever thought that a movie about a giant monkey would instill the highest lesson
there is to learn? My dad turned to me and said “LOVE IS THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD. BUT, IT WILL KILL YOU.”

I maybe the most unqualified person ever to say this—but yes, I do believe that Love is the most powerful force in the natural world. According to the ape-influenced knowledge imparted by my father, right now my heart is dead. But Love, being that powerful force also has the ability to
resurrect.

I have no doubt that I will be healed. It may take awhile, but I have all the time in the world. And this is the belief that will keep me going.


This has been the soul of the man they call William Trinity.