Wasn't there once a theory that lives moved in cycles? That you would move from a happy point in your life to a somber one, to happy, to angry, and so on. It's a fatalistic and almost cynical way of looking at it, but when I first heard it, it made sense. It could be looked at as how you don't have to wait too long for your next happy moment to arrive.
I've been waiting for a happy moment to arrive since September 18th, 2004.
Yep.
Still nothing yet. It's been a deadline -- nothing extraordinarily powerful. I haven't made a new friendship, really, in a year. I like meeting new people. There's the awkward little dance, as you ask inane questions, trying to pry into their thoughts.
And then you give up. Usually at the same time they do. And you decide to accept them as they do you.
I miss that.
So the cycle is wrong. Or at least it's made of some busted stuff.
Kind of like my CD-writer right now. It's shit itself at some point.
Argh.
I don't even know what my next day off is (except for Friday, since I asked for that like a month ago). There's like four 9-hour days ahead of me. I need to find a job that isn't retail, and isn't the kind that slaps me with 9 to 11-hour days regularly, all while paying me in the lowest bracket on the store and promoting people to other departments because "we can't stand to lose your expertise". Fuck off! So we're the only people in the store who can sell iPods -- doesn't change the fact that the store wants to move them into the computer department, where there's going to be exactly the same amount of knowledge about them.
Fucking happy point in the cycle. Where the hell are you?
I've been waiting for a happy moment to arrive since September 18th, 2004.
Yep.
Still nothing yet. It's been a deadline -- nothing extraordinarily powerful. I haven't made a new friendship, really, in a year. I like meeting new people. There's the awkward little dance, as you ask inane questions, trying to pry into their thoughts.
And then you give up. Usually at the same time they do. And you decide to accept them as they do you.
I miss that.
So the cycle is wrong. Or at least it's made of some busted stuff.
Kind of like my CD-writer right now. It's shit itself at some point.
Argh.
I don't even know what my next day off is (except for Friday, since I asked for that like a month ago). There's like four 9-hour days ahead of me. I need to find a job that isn't retail, and isn't the kind that slaps me with 9 to 11-hour days regularly, all while paying me in the lowest bracket on the store and promoting people to other departments because "we can't stand to lose your expertise". Fuck off! So we're the only people in the store who can sell iPods -- doesn't change the fact that the store wants to move them into the computer department, where there's going to be exactly the same amount of knowledge about them.
Fucking happy point in the cycle. Where the hell are you?