sometimes i wish my mind wasn't so active. my mind is constantly switching channels and i've lost the remote.
finally getting over the death of my father. i have been reflecting on my parents and how there were never really there. i was provided for physicaly but mentally i was on my own. no father son talks, my mothers idea of trying to boost myself esteem was by constantly comparing me to everyone around me. it was like they sent me on a journey with a backpack full of food and water but no map or compass. so for the last 30+ years i have been wandering in the wilderness.
i've gotten lost, made a few wrong turns, went in circles until i recognized my own tracks. when i was younger i was looking for my home in the wilderness until recently i realized the wilderness is my home. that maybe, just maybe, i'm not meant to fit in, be complacent in my thinking. maybe i'm just im in sane. sometimes i feel like it for my reality is far removed from what is taken as the norm. to me what we call normal is insane.
believing in ideas like your life depended on it. it's that rigid thinking that is the root of much of the suffering in this world. once you understand you are not your race,language and culture that these things are just a game of make believe impressed upon you from birth. i'm not american i'm not white i don't speak english. that is just the social costume i have been dressed in. once you understad that the true nature of consiousness is that " you" could have existed in any other country or culture. the "you" you know just happened, quite by chance, to be where you are. you could have been another person. behind all the social and language mechanics lies the true human being. somehow we have forgotten that.
finally getting over the death of my father. i have been reflecting on my parents and how there were never really there. i was provided for physicaly but mentally i was on my own. no father son talks, my mothers idea of trying to boost myself esteem was by constantly comparing me to everyone around me. it was like they sent me on a journey with a backpack full of food and water but no map or compass. so for the last 30+ years i have been wandering in the wilderness.
i've gotten lost, made a few wrong turns, went in circles until i recognized my own tracks. when i was younger i was looking for my home in the wilderness until recently i realized the wilderness is my home. that maybe, just maybe, i'm not meant to fit in, be complacent in my thinking. maybe i'm just im in sane. sometimes i feel like it for my reality is far removed from what is taken as the norm. to me what we call normal is insane.
believing in ideas like your life depended on it. it's that rigid thinking that is the root of much of the suffering in this world. once you understand you are not your race,language and culture that these things are just a game of make believe impressed upon you from birth. i'm not american i'm not white i don't speak english. that is just the social costume i have been dressed in. once you understad that the true nature of consiousness is that " you" could have existed in any other country or culture. the "you" you know just happened, quite by chance, to be where you are. you could have been another person. behind all the social and language mechanics lies the true human being. somehow we have forgotten that.
*shrugs*
we think too damned much!