Associated Press Washington DC
Jan 20th- Bush Admits to Being Gay
In his Inaugural speech George W. Bush told a stunned audience that he is gay. " whew, that was a close one y'all " he said as those in attendance began looking at each other in bewilderment. " I mean it's a good thing America's Gay-dar isn't that good or y'all would have seen through my act " after this statement Vice President Dick Cheney began to clutch his chest. looking over the President commented " C'mon Dick it's time we came clean,heh, i said came..." " I realized right after i was elected the first time that i have been gay my whole life" then said proudly " I denied it by drowning myself in booze in the 70's and 80's and becoming a born again christian after i sobered up but neither whiskey or God could stop the internal torment that was raging inside of me." at this point the President wiped away a tear, gently sobing to himself. regaining his composure that smirk America knows and loves came back to his face. " I mean now that i have a second term i don't have to worry about trying to win the christian vote so i feel i can finally get this off of my chest" the President said with a sigh. " Dick and I are lovers..." " i mean i was droppin' hints over the last 3 1/2 years." " remember after 9/11? that " undisclosed location" where Dick was at? well, that location was my Oval Orifice!" " he was dropping his "bunker buster" in my behind. we were so scared we was gonna die we had to make hot love one more time just in case one of us died because of a terrorist attack." " I mean, hell, i even dropped a hint in my acceptance speech on November 3rd. remember when i said i had a Mandate? i meant i had a "Man-Date" it was just little joke i threw in there,heh" the president then walked over to a visibly shaken Dick Cheney, they embraced each other and then Mr. Cheney stuck his tongue down the Presidents throat.
walking back to the podium the President announced "oh yeah, and Zell Miller is gay too... how'd y'all think i got him to switch sides so to speak?" with a lopsided grin the President added "heh, i guess that makes me BI- Partisan."
Jan 20th- Bush Admits to Being Gay
In his Inaugural speech George W. Bush told a stunned audience that he is gay. " whew, that was a close one y'all " he said as those in attendance began looking at each other in bewilderment. " I mean it's a good thing America's Gay-dar isn't that good or y'all would have seen through my act " after this statement Vice President Dick Cheney began to clutch his chest. looking over the President commented " C'mon Dick it's time we came clean,heh, i said came..." " I realized right after i was elected the first time that i have been gay my whole life" then said proudly " I denied it by drowning myself in booze in the 70's and 80's and becoming a born again christian after i sobered up but neither whiskey or God could stop the internal torment that was raging inside of me." at this point the President wiped away a tear, gently sobing to himself. regaining his composure that smirk America knows and loves came back to his face. " I mean now that i have a second term i don't have to worry about trying to win the christian vote so i feel i can finally get this off of my chest" the President said with a sigh. " Dick and I are lovers..." " i mean i was droppin' hints over the last 3 1/2 years." " remember after 9/11? that " undisclosed location" where Dick was at? well, that location was my Oval Orifice!" " he was dropping his "bunker buster" in my behind. we were so scared we was gonna die we had to make hot love one more time just in case one of us died because of a terrorist attack." " I mean, hell, i even dropped a hint in my acceptance speech on November 3rd. remember when i said i had a Mandate? i meant i had a "Man-Date" it was just little joke i threw in there,heh" the president then walked over to a visibly shaken Dick Cheney, they embraced each other and then Mr. Cheney stuck his tongue down the Presidents throat.
walking back to the podium the President announced "oh yeah, and Zell Miller is gay too... how'd y'all think i got him to switch sides so to speak?" with a lopsided grin the President added "heh, i guess that makes me BI- Partisan."
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Eww...