willard7

When I was a younger man, a military man with a good career and a fine-looking woman at my side, when I had everything on a platter, the Fugees covered "Killing Me Softly." Fuckberries, I loved it. I loved it so damn much. I'd make love to my woman to it, thinking it was about the greatest song ever. I was quite the singer back then too--at least that's what I was told.

Later I heard it with my mom, and I was shocked to know that she knew all the words. I asked her when she ever listened to R&B (she raised me up right on rock) and she said she used to sing the original to me when I was a baby. She used it as a lullaby.

Talk about a lesson. I can't possibly remember back to that time. But obviously it had a great impact on me. It taught me a lot about subliminal memory. It also grossed me out when I'd think about Audrey's cries and moans to Mom's voice. Hell, I'm shuddering even now.

The Navy is gone, the woman is gone, but the song remains. Now it brings me some comfort--tying a past I can't remember to a past I've tried to reconcile with to a present that I'm trying hard to just move past.

Circular.

You pay your token, you get on the ride. It goes up and down, and around. It's a circle. It's circular.

What will I sing to my children when I'm trying to coo them to sleep?