Well I dont think I can match the length of my last blog, to be honest, but sure Ill just see what comes out this time 
hmmm. But not a whole lot has happened recently, well, thats worth writing about anyway so far I havent done a whole lot about my situation. Havent bothered a whole lot. Every day I go into college and its just getting more and more depressing. Thankfully the semester is almost through, so I wont have to worry about all that shite for much longer. If the semester was any longer I dont think I could hack it. Had a great weekend, just passed, and going into college just sorta killed it. Like, Saturday night, Sunday morning I was in chat for ages. Talking to people, having a laugh, all that fun stuff, and I even watched The Boondock Saints for the first time ever! Had a great time! But when I went into college on Monday it all started going arseways again. After only three hours my good weekend buzz had faded to a distant memory, and another downward spiral had begun. Only three hours and it was gone. I dont know, I suppose its just going from one extreme to the other. Going from the Saturday-Sunday all-nighter, going from having loads of cool people I could talk to honestly about shit stuff, and have fun with at the same time, to nothing. Like in a film or something when they say its too quiet. Thats what it was like. The normal, social noise, for use of a better word, was replaced with deafening silence. If this is the result of going from a chat-filled weekend to college, I shudder to think what the result of going back home from an actual meet-up would be like.
I think the plan to go to Manchester has all but dissolved at this stage. College work and all that crap intervened and made it impossible to go. I know stuff probably wouldnt have gone that well, but still I thought itd be cool. See England without the family. Ive never really been away like that without parents, looking at everything Im doing. Ive been away once or twice, but never really away, away. If you know what I mean. I suppose its trying to recreate the freedom Ive found here. Break out of the mould Im currently in. Change it for the better.
I'm starting to write this again after about a ten hour gap. From when i wrote the above two paragraphs. It was an absolutely terrible day but i've come to realise a few things:
1.I'm tired of being nervous about how i talk. I can't fucking stand how i can't talk to people. So... anyone i'm friends with, i don't fucking care: you're going to listen to me. Might take a while but it's going to happen. One at a time though. Can't really talk to more than one person at a time, not yet anyway. So i'll be probably be setting up a skype account, since i know so many people abroad
2.Friends i have on this here site. I don't think you get how much you mean to me. Before this site, i had no real friends to speak of. So having said that, you might be a bit weirded out to find that you already know me far better than anyone i live with/know/interact with.
3.If anyone tries to talk to me about religion, they'll get an earful of my actual opinion. I'm not gonna censor myself for the sake of my relatives' comfort. Same goes for anyone else i'm talking to. Every single time so far i've been asked, i've shyed away from that type of confrontation. Not anymore peoples, not anymore
4.People who wear fake glasses, just to be cool, are fuckin morons. In my book that's comparable to pretending to be in a wheelchair, for sympathy. I recently found out that apparently this is a fashion trend. Would you wear a hearing aid, without having hearing difficulties? I don't think so. I consider it disrespectful and crude
5.I'm going to try learning to have confidence too. Which is a big, terrifying deal, for me anyway. For too long i've been nervous and uncomfortable about everything i like, or have interest in. I never play my music too loud for fear of drawing too much attention to myself, but that's got to finish. I still don't like attention seekers, but I'm not going to stay by the sidelines anymore
Now that that's out of the way, i want to clear up my intentions for the future. I would like to meet up, in person with some of the friends that i've made on this site. I don't know when but it has to happen at some stage. If you don't think we're good enough friends for that, say so now. That's why i'm going to work up my talking ability. So i can be more prepared for a potential meet. I suppose my best friends would be the ones i've made in SG Chat. You know who you guys are, some of you might be on my facebook too. You guys mean a lot, and i do consider you really good friends
Let's see... what else have i got to ramble on about... Damn... Nothing has happened. Well nothing outside of personal stuff. I've still been progressing through my music collection, so I'll put some videos here i suppose
hmmm. But not a whole lot has happened recently, well, thats worth writing about anyway so far I havent done a whole lot about my situation. Havent bothered a whole lot. Every day I go into college and its just getting more and more depressing. Thankfully the semester is almost through, so I wont have to worry about all that shite for much longer. If the semester was any longer I dont think I could hack it. Had a great weekend, just passed, and going into college just sorta killed it. Like, Saturday night, Sunday morning I was in chat for ages. Talking to people, having a laugh, all that fun stuff, and I even watched The Boondock Saints for the first time ever! Had a great time! But when I went into college on Monday it all started going arseways again. After only three hours my good weekend buzz had faded to a distant memory, and another downward spiral had begun. Only three hours and it was gone. I dont know, I suppose its just going from one extreme to the other. Going from the Saturday-Sunday all-nighter, going from having loads of cool people I could talk to honestly about shit stuff, and have fun with at the same time, to nothing. Like in a film or something when they say its too quiet. Thats what it was like. The normal, social noise, for use of a better word, was replaced with deafening silence. If this is the result of going from a chat-filled weekend to college, I shudder to think what the result of going back home from an actual meet-up would be like.
I think the plan to go to Manchester has all but dissolved at this stage. College work and all that crap intervened and made it impossible to go. I know stuff probably wouldnt have gone that well, but still I thought itd be cool. See England without the family. Ive never really been away like that without parents, looking at everything Im doing. Ive been away once or twice, but never really away, away. If you know what I mean. I suppose its trying to recreate the freedom Ive found here. Break out of the mould Im currently in. Change it for the better.
I'm starting to write this again after about a ten hour gap. From when i wrote the above two paragraphs. It was an absolutely terrible day but i've come to realise a few things:
1.I'm tired of being nervous about how i talk. I can't fucking stand how i can't talk to people. So... anyone i'm friends with, i don't fucking care: you're going to listen to me. Might take a while but it's going to happen. One at a time though. Can't really talk to more than one person at a time, not yet anyway. So i'll be probably be setting up a skype account, since i know so many people abroad
2.Friends i have on this here site. I don't think you get how much you mean to me. Before this site, i had no real friends to speak of. So having said that, you might be a bit weirded out to find that you already know me far better than anyone i live with/know/interact with.
3.If anyone tries to talk to me about religion, they'll get an earful of my actual opinion. I'm not gonna censor myself for the sake of my relatives' comfort. Same goes for anyone else i'm talking to. Every single time so far i've been asked, i've shyed away from that type of confrontation. Not anymore peoples, not anymore
4.People who wear fake glasses, just to be cool, are fuckin morons. In my book that's comparable to pretending to be in a wheelchair, for sympathy. I recently found out that apparently this is a fashion trend. Would you wear a hearing aid, without having hearing difficulties? I don't think so. I consider it disrespectful and crude
5.I'm going to try learning to have confidence too. Which is a big, terrifying deal, for me anyway. For too long i've been nervous and uncomfortable about everything i like, or have interest in. I never play my music too loud for fear of drawing too much attention to myself, but that's got to finish. I still don't like attention seekers, but I'm not going to stay by the sidelines anymore
Now that that's out of the way, i want to clear up my intentions for the future. I would like to meet up, in person with some of the friends that i've made on this site. I don't know when but it has to happen at some stage. If you don't think we're good enough friends for that, say so now. That's why i'm going to work up my talking ability. So i can be more prepared for a potential meet. I suppose my best friends would be the ones i've made in SG Chat. You know who you guys are, some of you might be on my facebook too. You guys mean a lot, and i do consider you really good friends
Let's see... what else have i got to ramble on about... Damn... Nothing has happened. Well nothing outside of personal stuff. I've still been progressing through my music collection, so I'll put some videos here i suppose
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
Oh man, there are some people who have made the mistake of discussing religion with me...
Some people can deal, others don't want to. Haha.
I kindof hear you on the fake glasses thing. It's a little silly.
I usually opt for contacts because I find them cumbersome; I don't know why someone would really want to wear them just for looks. Oh well.
Confidence is a good thing.
I'm working on mine.
Good luck with yours!
And yes, ATM Machine.
Baahhh.
ya, im not into the english footbal or anything but when the irish team are playing i cant help but swell with pride and optimism, which is usually dashed after 90 mins, like last night.
how was your weekend?