wildseven

This is gonna be a good one folks! This hasn't been the best two weeks! A lot of annoying shit has happened. Nothing big or really that serious just... you know the way some weeks are just shit.

So... I've been trying to sort out college for the past while. Navigating the atrocious website for the third time, first and second year were bad enough! I basically have to take six classes each semester. For the first semester i've been given three core subjects, two options (pick two out of four) and one elective (a class from anywhere in the entire university).And for the second one, from the end of january until the end of may, i was given four core subjects and two options (out of four). I HATE picking subjects. I never know what i want to do, then i have to deliberate for ages, only to find the subjects are already full. Then i start the whole arduous process again. I suffer from a horrible amount of indecisiveness (indecision?). If you want to actually know what i'm doing just leave me a comment.

Needless to say, the university website is a pile o shit. The search function is shit, the layout is shit, there's millions of 404 errors, and half the time the server is down. But anyway, my transfer request finally went through on tuesday (after trying since February) and i got my timetable today, two days before the start of term. At last. And it's too bad. My Friday's tough, up at half six, but the other days are alright. have a lunchtime start on monday, but it will probably change, knowing the excuse for bureaucracy they have.

And that was the good part of my last two weeks! It's mostly been full of pre-term boredom, mixed with painful nostalgia, batman: arkham asylum, good music and the glories of SG chat. The people in there are great. That means YOU, miscellaneous reader! Also cfq, batt, eliza, silly, sinatra, water, e1e, locke, kg, melk and all those other crazy cats. I was in some pretty foul moods but something about sg chat seems to cheer me up!

At the start of the first week of this blog, i was in HMV, trying to find some actual good music, when a woman walked by me wearing the exact perfume that a girl i adored in secondary school wore. I got shot down, twice, but i'd sort of gotten past it. UNTIL that woman passed me in HMV. I was looking through the paltry metal section at the back of the shop, and spied some Yes albums in the Classic Rock section, and decided to have a looksee. So i maneuvred to the classic rock section, when one of the girls, who was stocking shelves or something, strolled by with a handful of comedy DVDs, going toward the Family Guy, American Dad area.

And the damn perfume she was wearing just fucked my shit right up. I nearly started bawling in the middle of the shop. After about 5 minutes of pure agony i went to the cash desk and bought my Joe Satriani, Yes and MC5 albums. Trying to avoid the cash person's stare, i was terrified she'd see the red eyes i thought i had, but didn't actually have. And that's where the shit starts. Since then i've had chronic insomnia, allowing me to watch loads of films, for no apparent reason. I've started eating less. And i seem to be drawn more toward bands with female vocalists. I fucking hate teenage shit. Stuff that happened ages ago comes back to bite you in the ass and fuck your life up. You know the way when you remember something big and horrible and you feel like your stomach goes into your throat and you can't talk without sounding quivery. Fucking bullshit.

I just remembered the way we used to talk online, text message conversations, she sometimes leaned against me in French if she was tired, i gave her my new phone to play Tetris, before i'd figured out how to use it, she showed me what a split-end was, we went to a free English exam preparation dealy together, where i introduced her to my mam, and she actually talked to me. That was a pretty big deal when i was 15-17, not that long ago. I asked her at the end of fourth year, and near the end of sixth year and both times she just sort of shrugged it off. Didn't really answer. After the second time i gave up. Couldn't deal with the blas attitude, i felt like stabbing my eyes out. I ended up missing the ball thing i'd asked her to, which she didn't answer about. Different problems entirely. I thought i'd gotten over it but apparently not. It's been pretty close to misery since then, but i think it's going away. Fading into the background again. But somehow the people in chat made me forget about it for a while.

I've also been playing Batman: Arkham Asylum in my spare time! See, i was always going to put that in here. Some of the films i've watched in my depressed haze have included: Breakfast Club, Waiting, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, mixed in with True Blood, Red Dwarf and the odd episode of House.

In other related stuff i went back to the tattoo parlour today, was told it'd be 80 and would take an hour. Not too bad. I spent ten minutes working up the nerve to go in, the same girl was on the reception thing, and i was DEFINITELY going to be the suave stranger this time. I was just going in, when she came out for her lunch break, with her taller, cooler, more-tattooed, more-handsome boyfriend. I fucking hate that EVERY interesting person is in a relationship with better people than you could ever aspire to be. Every single person i've been interested in, EVER, has been with a perfect boyfriend. I'm never going to get a girlfriend. THIS is the type of mood i've been in for the last two weeks!

This is one of the only self-obsessed blogs i'll actually ever do, so if you find this type of stuff contrived and self indulgent you probably won't hear it again.