wildchild

Right now I feel really depressed. It comes and goes, but as for now, it is here. It's like this murky pool that consumes me, pulls me down into its depths and I can't get out. It's dark down here, and lonely and cold. I can't see the surface, or where it begins or ends. I can't see a way out... There's nothing but darkness that never seems to end. Some people reading this will understand, other people will assume that this is an easy thing to fix. I could "cheer up", I could make some changes in my life or whatever... but it's not as easy as it seems. It's like this shadow that is always with me, sometimes it's visible and sometimes it's not. But it's always there... just lurking, waiting... I can't get away. My entire life I have fallen victim to it again and again. I hate feeling this way, but I can't make it stop. It's like a monster... maybe I'm the monster... i don't know. But I hate myself right now and I hate everything around me. I feel so choked up inside, like I can't breath. Everything just seems too much sometimes, even the small things. I just want it to stop. I hate writing things like this because it probably sounds really pitiful and discusting. But this is how I feel and I can't hold it inside anymore.