ive got all this antsy, itchy, seeking, crawling, scraping intestines inside my head - desperate for something to digest. i wish to write grotesquely because it reminds me of one's mind's balance - so often white, beautiful, insanely happy...it hurts (in a good way) to whisper out descriptions of things you would never really want to see.
i fucking love life, and everything thats been happening in it. full of opportunity and love and life. i have the greatest boyfriend. literally. i never could have imagined feeling this in love with someone. before, it was always - yes yes dear, you worship me, and that's how i like it bitch. i liked being in control. litter did i know that with the right master i could be so content...he's so confident, intelligent, witty and kind that it makes me melt thinking about having him inside of me.
I have a lot of talent dammit! stop telling me I cant do it in the fucking timeframe. please. fuckers! i hate it when i listen to the men inside my head, quelching and calling my name - telling me my milestones are unrealistic. if other people can do it...well, i guess that's it. i haven't heard of others doing it. but hell, i was 14 and hadnt heard of 'other people doing it' but i did it first anyway. its in my personality. i need to get the fuck over it, and do the work i set out to do. i need to make a stamp on a very big fucking envelope.
try try try.
achieve, achieve, achieve.
cry, cry, cry.
breathe.
yay!
I haven't cried since he left. neato cheeto eh. 
I'm moving in officially on my own with the first boyfriend that i've loved consistenly over time. sorry if you find it boring that i talk about my boyfriend. blah. go sit in that corner. that''s it, SIT. now STAY. and shush. I love listening to happy stories even if you dont. so pthhh. love.
so much!
i get to be a little domestic goddess soon, because as soon as i finish this asshole masters (which i do love...somewhere. ive just burnt out on graduate level academic crap over the last year! someone shoot it for me..pleeease? thanks. most appreciated bobby joe.) ...anyway, so when i finish I move back to Austin. Right now I'm aiming to finish at the end of Feburary and then FLY fly fly to the states at the end of March.
YEA! hell YES! bring on the Austinintes! omg.
I'm so excited.
i fucking love life, and everything thats been happening in it. full of opportunity and love and life. i have the greatest boyfriend. literally. i never could have imagined feeling this in love with someone. before, it was always - yes yes dear, you worship me, and that's how i like it bitch. i liked being in control. litter did i know that with the right master i could be so content...he's so confident, intelligent, witty and kind that it makes me melt thinking about having him inside of me.
I have a lot of talent dammit! stop telling me I cant do it in the fucking timeframe. please. fuckers! i hate it when i listen to the men inside my head, quelching and calling my name - telling me my milestones are unrealistic. if other people can do it...well, i guess that's it. i haven't heard of others doing it. but hell, i was 14 and hadnt heard of 'other people doing it' but i did it first anyway. its in my personality. i need to get the fuck over it, and do the work i set out to do. i need to make a stamp on a very big fucking envelope.
try try try.
achieve, achieve, achieve.
cry, cry, cry.
breathe.
yay!
I haven't cried since he left. neato cheeto eh.
I'm moving in officially on my own with the first boyfriend that i've loved consistenly over time. sorry if you find it boring that i talk about my boyfriend. blah. go sit in that corner. that''s it, SIT. now STAY. and shush. I love listening to happy stories even if you dont. so pthhh.
love.
so much!
i get to be a little domestic goddess soon, because as soon as i finish this asshole masters (which i do love...somewhere. ive just burnt out on graduate level academic crap over the last year! someone shoot it for me..pleeease? thanks. most appreciated bobby joe.) ...anyway, so when i finish I move back to Austin. Right now I'm aiming to finish at the end of Feburary and then FLY fly fly to the states at the end of March.
YEA! hell YES! bring on the Austinintes! omg.
I'm so excited.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Yeah, the granny/unicorn thing. I was looking for the ugliest unicorn I could find, and THAT thing popped up on my screen. I think my neighbors probably heard my laughing. I'm pretty sure it's the surpise element. I mean, you never expect to see a lady on a Hoveround riding a unicorn.
Nice to meet ya.
she was talking to her roommate earlier this morning and said to her that she didnt think i understand why she broke up with me, its not that she doesnt care for me and love me, its that she doesnt feel like she can be in a relationship right now and still wants to be my friend and everything. but i dont think i could do that, at least not at this moment, ya know? its so hard to go from straight love, being in a relationship with someone to trying ot be ONLY their friend. i cant do that... at least not without breaking contact with her for a bit, i need some time to get over her, otherwise if i continue to hang out with her, im the type of person will my feelings wont fade
hahaha, dont worry. i didnt take that as a hint, considering you live in new zealand, i dont think either of us are in the place to up and move to the other side of the world to live with one another. although, you are a totally beautiful, intelligent girl. but i guess really, i want someone whos independent, not afraid to speak their mind and stand their ground -- even when i hate them for their decision. someone whos beautiful to me, able to put up with me being a dick and cocky most of the time, but i always do it for a reaction, not because i actually AM a dick or cocky. someone who can put up with my traveling all over the country with random bands and possibly even be willing to join me... complete sexual openness is a must, if i get bored in bed, i get bored with a relationship, sadly.
what about you darling?