wickedmonkey68

Lonely is as lonely does,
Lonely is an eyesore...

I have always liked being alone.

Not attached.

Lately, though, I seem to have found myself actually feeling lonely.

Not horny. Lonely.

It is kind of sad, since I come from a big family, and have some really great friends. I find that I feel alone even among them.

I'm not sure why.

Sometimes I want to hide, from everyone.

Weird. The hard part is not being sure exactly how to extracate myself from this place. I like being around people, but sometimes I just want them all to leave me alone. Which is pretty stupid, considering I always seek company, consciously or not.

The thing I lack, I think, is the tenderness and comfort of a relationship. That feeling you get when you wake up next to someone or hold their hand or read in silence together while sipping coffee...

It sucks, cause I am lousy at dating. I have no idea how to do it. (which doesn't really explain how I have a kid. BWAHAHAHAHA! *ahem*)

Does this sound pathetic? I hate feeling this way. I miss feeling at ease with my world, such as it is...

Maybe it's time for some sort of big change, who knows?

Jeez, look at that...I got EMO all over everything. Sorry.