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wichcraft66

Windsor

Member Since 2004

Followers 5 Following 4

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Saturday Apr 09, 2005

Apr 9, 2005
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Punk'd:
Punked out: N. to wuss out, to take the low road, see-puff.

i punked out today. i feel like shit and i don't know why. i'm running out of road, everyday it's something new, some smile, some joke and i'm drawn closer in to the woman who i shouldn't want. she's a republican for god sakes, so why is it that when i think about her i'm in a better mood, hell when she's around i'm in a better mood. i'm doing what i can because i know this dance too well, i might just be the guy but i don't want to be "The Guy" because i'm not "The Guy". "The Guy" is the great guy who holds you near kisses away your fears and saves you from the doomed future you are heading to. i'm not the guy you leave your boyfriend for, hell i'm not the guy you leave a ham sandwich for.
i could have done it tonight, all it would have taken was a quick button click, everything i was thinking, everything i wanted to say i had writen in that little two inch box on the IM (yes i know that would have been a shitty way of doing it, one of the many reasons why i did not) i spelled it out as clear as day, even said for her to leave the guy. i'm a fool if i think this will turn out to anything but another heartache. i guess in a way i'm still "smoking the filter", i'm not getting what the rest of the world sees clear as day. things are happining and i'm just to blinded to see them. i'm not hard, i'm not tough, i'm just a guy trying to figure out what's the score. i'm reminded of Rollins' classic tale, partly because i resently heard "Human Butt" again in my car while driving home from work. i love that story because it's me, and in a way i think it will always be me, perhaps that's what women see in me. i'm a nice guy with a lot of bad qualities. i'm running out of ideas, starting to think the advice ironbhr gave me was right (it's just crazy enough to work) perhaps the only way to settle this is to just corner her, make that one moment where it's a little world filled with just her and me, draw her close and wait. either we explode in a fit of passion unleashed or she breaks two of my ribs, crushed my collarbone, and smashes my jaw. either way it might be fun!!!! raise your hand if you know this one: who here knows why my life has to be that of a teen soap? mad
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dollbabyamy:
I say go for it. At least you'd know where you stand, broken ribs or passionate sex pulled muscles. smile
Apr 11, 2005
ironbhr:
i can't breath! i can't breath! but i can fly and kill! i am satan i am satan! think more blureprints and you got it going on... skull
Apr 11, 2005

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