A Common Enemy:
i have given it a lot of thought and come to the conclusion that i have found a lot of common ground with Dwight McCarthy, played by Clive Owen in the film "Sin City". but i'm not just talking about Mr. Owen's part in the film, i am talking about the Dwight from the Sin City Graphic Novels. you see Dwight personifies "Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Guy." which i can relate to. dwight is just a guy, Hartigan is a good cop pushed to his limits, Marv's a drunk and a pill poper who happens to like pain, but Dwight? Dwight is the everyman, the peter parker of Basin City. he's not a super hero, he's not much of a hero at all, just a guy who get's caught up in the whirlwind of his own life. in "Dame to kill for", the first time we meet Dwight, he's a photographer who get's paid for taking pictures of people in compromising positions. he's played by a former lover in to killing her husband then geting blamed for the murder. everything goes to plan until Dwight stands up and says "fuck you i ain't going down like this. after a face change, a lot of people die and Dwight rides off in to the sunset. we all know what happens in "Big fat kill" o there's no reason to rehash that. in "Family Values" he once again has to stad up for those who can't stand up for themselves. Dwight's got honor, commitment, and a sence about people. i can respect a guy who takes all the shit that's thrown at him and still stand with a smoke in his hand and a grin on his face. maybe Dwight does have it all figured out, or at least does a good job hiding it.
i seem to be having my own Dwight-like problems, only i think that killing a large number of people might not be the best course of action, then again i've been wrong before. this one involves a complete lack of support for any aspect of my life. at work i get shit upon because i'm the only one who knows what needs to get done and i am the only one willing to make sure it gets done. because that means i will have to crack the whip, i am seen as the bad guy and must be set out as an example. my boss would rather take care of the nay sayer than deal with what needs to be done. it's due to that i have desided to say "fuck all ya'll" to the people at work. i go in, i do my job, and i leave, that's it. (i still talk to Diana, and today Linda gave me a massage and back scratch which saved the lives of countless millions from my wrath.) at home it's a different story, i am saddend to learn that my family is that of a middle ages family. they plot, they betray, they stab you in the back when your not looking. for once could i just have a family who tells you to your face that they don't like you rather than smile in your face as the dagger is raised. aparently a move to Denver isn't what my family had in mind when they made plans: truth of the matter is they want me to stay here and be depressed. if they have to be here and suffer, so do i. i hate twisted thinking like that. i fear my family will beat the life out of me then ask why i have done nothing?
i'm starting to think that's the reason i'm thinking of moving. in a few short weeks i will be turning 21, and i look back and see that in the 21 years i have been alive, i have accomplished nothing. at one time i was motivated, alive, ready to do anything, what happend to those days? i'm fearing that life will not wait, that i will wind up like my cousins, in and out of lock up, crappy job, but blind to it all. is that what i will become? another shameful person at the christmas photo? i don't want anything this year but to be happy for just a moment, not a life time, just one moment. it's not a large request. but still...i just want to have my niece not think i never did anything because at the moment (and the forseeable future) that's all that's going to happen.
i have given it a lot of thought and come to the conclusion that i have found a lot of common ground with Dwight McCarthy, played by Clive Owen in the film "Sin City". but i'm not just talking about Mr. Owen's part in the film, i am talking about the Dwight from the Sin City Graphic Novels. you see Dwight personifies "Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Guy." which i can relate to. dwight is just a guy, Hartigan is a good cop pushed to his limits, Marv's a drunk and a pill poper who happens to like pain, but Dwight? Dwight is the everyman, the peter parker of Basin City. he's not a super hero, he's not much of a hero at all, just a guy who get's caught up in the whirlwind of his own life. in "Dame to kill for", the first time we meet Dwight, he's a photographer who get's paid for taking pictures of people in compromising positions. he's played by a former lover in to killing her husband then geting blamed for the murder. everything goes to plan until Dwight stands up and says "fuck you i ain't going down like this. after a face change, a lot of people die and Dwight rides off in to the sunset. we all know what happens in "Big fat kill" o there's no reason to rehash that. in "Family Values" he once again has to stad up for those who can't stand up for themselves. Dwight's got honor, commitment, and a sence about people. i can respect a guy who takes all the shit that's thrown at him and still stand with a smoke in his hand and a grin on his face. maybe Dwight does have it all figured out, or at least does a good job hiding it.
i seem to be having my own Dwight-like problems, only i think that killing a large number of people might not be the best course of action, then again i've been wrong before. this one involves a complete lack of support for any aspect of my life. at work i get shit upon because i'm the only one who knows what needs to get done and i am the only one willing to make sure it gets done. because that means i will have to crack the whip, i am seen as the bad guy and must be set out as an example. my boss would rather take care of the nay sayer than deal with what needs to be done. it's due to that i have desided to say "fuck all ya'll" to the people at work. i go in, i do my job, and i leave, that's it. (i still talk to Diana, and today Linda gave me a massage and back scratch which saved the lives of countless millions from my wrath.) at home it's a different story, i am saddend to learn that my family is that of a middle ages family. they plot, they betray, they stab you in the back when your not looking. for once could i just have a family who tells you to your face that they don't like you rather than smile in your face as the dagger is raised. aparently a move to Denver isn't what my family had in mind when they made plans: truth of the matter is they want me to stay here and be depressed. if they have to be here and suffer, so do i. i hate twisted thinking like that. i fear my family will beat the life out of me then ask why i have done nothing?
i'm starting to think that's the reason i'm thinking of moving. in a few short weeks i will be turning 21, and i look back and see that in the 21 years i have been alive, i have accomplished nothing. at one time i was motivated, alive, ready to do anything, what happend to those days? i'm fearing that life will not wait, that i will wind up like my cousins, in and out of lock up, crappy job, but blind to it all. is that what i will become? another shameful person at the christmas photo? i don't want anything this year but to be happy for just a moment, not a life time, just one moment. it's not a large request. but still...i just want to have my niece not think i never did anything because at the moment (and the forseeable future) that's all that's going to happen.
we're moving next weekend so you'll even have your own room - with a door and everything - when you're out here instead of dealing with me climbing over you to get to the pisser in the middle of the night.