whitewidow

Story of the day.......I mean middle of the night

OK - Since my last post was rather depressing, I decided to take it down.

Here it is - 0430hrs and I am WIDE AWAKE!!! I have tried almost every thing I could think of to fall asleep but nothing seems to be working I think that short from drugging myself I'm just gonna have to wait until my body hits a wall and decides to just konk out for a much needed nap (although I DO have a bottle of Demerol sitting in the bedroom that could be of some use if this doesn't happen in a reasonable time frame The good news though?? PETE'S HOME!!!!

He finally got home at around 2230hrs which didn't leave alot of time to talk but I let him know how I was feeling about our current situation. I can honestly say though - that until we manage to resolve some stuff financially, I probably will continue on this unhealthy path of not sleeping, not eating and constanty feeling sick There was actually a moment yesterday in which I thought (only for a moment or 2) that I was having a heart attack I know damn well that it is just stress but I will admit that it had me scared for that brief period

On a completely different note, I managed to FINALLY piece together a somewhat half assed 2 minute audition video for my performance portfolio Now if I could only get motivated to do a full and proper 10 minute one then I'll be set I need to go get my hair done first since my last video still has my long hair in it

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just wish I could



But unfortunately my mind is taking lessons from this furry friend



Oh well - I guess I'll go try watching a movie until I get sleepy