whiterabbit819

Emo Warning.

Sorry its been awhile since I've been online. There has been uber drama.

I seem to have lost two of my closest friends. One of them after about a year and a half of me and Drea dating is still uncomfortable with it. I have no idea why because she wont tell me. She just told me that she doesn't want to see me or be around me anymore or at least for a while but I've been givin no real reason why. All I've been told is because it's because I don't take her feelings into account. Which is (in my eyes) ridiculous because I've bent over backwards to make her happy. I've even sacrificed my relationship with my gf Drea at times in order to make her happy. And things that she is dealing with now I had to deal with when she was with someone else and I was just told to deal with it. I really don't know what to do. I feel like I've tried the best I could to accommodate and keep her comfortable but I'm not going to play down my relationship with someone I truly care about to make that happen. That isn't fair to the person I'm with now and I tried it before and it only led to bigger problems between me and Drea.

The second friend I feel that I've lost because he spends all his time with the prior mentioned friend. I don't know what happened. He used to call me right when I would get off work and we would hang out. My mom had even taken to set out an extra table setting for him if she knew that I would be home for dinner because she figured he would be coming as well. I saw him everyday and I thought we had grown quite close. But he hasn't called in like two weeks and hasn't messages me or really bothered to get a hold of me in any way. I don't know what happened. All I know is that he started hanging out with friend 1 and now I never see him. I don't know if she started saying fucked up shit about me or what. But the killer is he was one of the people I thought I could go to for anything. He was the only objective opinion that I could find when it came to situations between friend 1 and Drea and now I don't have that. He just kind of disaperas and the only time I ever see him is when he is with the other they even wear each others clothes. And even then he doesn't talk to me.

I just kinda wish I had an explanation. I've done nothing but try to make things work. I thought she would be understanding because she put me through the exact same thing and worse and yet it's like she chooses not to remember. I've lost two friends to stupid drama that really shouldn't even exist.

I went to Barns tonight to hang out with some friends I hadn't seen in a while and they showed up and I just had to leave. I couldn't stand being with 2 people who were once so close to me sit there and act like I don't exist. I know by leaving I'm letting it get the best of me but I just don't want things to end up worse than they are. They showed up at my work today and when I asked friend 1 what was going on and why she was choosing to ignore me she raised her voice at me and told me I was just trying to play the victim. When I said it wasn't true and that I was just trying to understand and that if she really needed some time away then thats fine if thats what she needs she raised her voice to me again and stormed off.

I've spent this entire day locked in my room with Drea trying to toughen up to go out knowing that they frequent the same places I do and when I am relived that I can just enjoy my night without drama they show up. I don't know what to do. I don't want to cause problems but I also don't want to stop going to places that I enjoy just because they might show up.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what's causing this to happen because no one will tell me whats going on or at least be truthfull with me about it. I'm just told that I'm sort of dick and that she can't be around me when I really have no idea what I did wrong or at least didn't put on her any more than she put on me when she was seeing someone.

Everything is fucked right now. I have no idea what to do or how to fix things because neither one of them will talk to me or tell me whats wrong.

I'm lost. I've lost two friends for unknown reasons and its killing me.