whitelightriver

Wow, spent all day in the rockin' ass country. No really, it was refreshing. It felt like a different life. I spent a lot of time napping in the truck, dreaming about somebody...but before that I had the nerve to get on a 4-wheeler (ATV for non-countryish people) behind my 13-yr-old cousin. In case you don't know, graphing testosterone levels in males by age will reveal that 13 is pretty much the apex, the pinnacle, the zenith. He basically drove that thing like the throttle was stuck and the brakes were broken, ripping ass around turns without slowing down and the like. The best part is that, um, you're not supposed to have a second passenger. At all. There were some pretty close calls, he took us down this overgrown path complete with weeds that bitch-slapped you in face. It started raining when we were about 20 minutes away from where we started, very deep in the heart of the jungles of Texas. We were getting soaked, so I convinced him to turn around. We get to the main road, and the rain's gone. He just HAS to turn around again and do the whole thing over again. More face-whipping from low-hanging branches. We get to the end, and there's absolutely nothing but a fence. It was indescribably anticlimactic.

And yeah, napping too place after that. I was pretty miserable because I was covered in mud and stuff...Really, the worst part was having dirty hands. I hate having dirty hands. Despise it. I am such a woman about my hands - if my hands are too dry, I'm very uncomfortable. If they're dirty, I get SUPER uncomfortable. Lord help me if I get shit under my fingernails...just a minute case of OCD.

I'm gonna get checked out for ADD...I've always thought something might be up with me, and after reading a list of symptoms I believe there might be a good chance that I have it. I was a bit dismayed when it was suggested that I seek professional help, as I cannot afford health insurance and have not had it for nearly ten years (risky, considering I was a hardcore skateboarder for about 2). However, somebody on the ADD board pointed out that I'm in college, and most colleges have free clinics. Fucking right they do! I went once for a depression screening and talked my heart out to this woman...then she told me I'd have to call another woman and set up an appointment. I think this is where my ADD kicked in - I never called. But I honestly don't feel all that depressed anymore. I don't know what's happened, perhaps the fact that I'm finding something of a purpose...

Oh yeah, and I know this REALLY amazing girl in Spain. She's the definition of cool. That helps.