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whiteiris

The Black Hole

Member Since 2004

Followers 25 Following 15

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Wednesday Feb 09, 2005

Feb 9, 2005
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Things are bad. Really bad. Really too long of a story to tell but suffice it to say that my ex has lost his ever-loving mind and must feel the need to die at an early age and violently at that. He hurt my children. Physically and mentally. It is going to take me years to try and repair the damage he has done if I ever can. There are really no words to describe the rage and anger I feel inside. These are my children. These are his children. It is our job to protect and nurture them not beat them and tell them they are stupid. They trust us.

STUPID PIECE OF SHIT BASTARD MOTHERFUCKER USELESS NON PERSON WASTE OF SPACE NOT WORTH THE SLIME ON MY SHOES ASSHOLE

He won't be seeing them anymore. It doesn't matter what I have to do to see to that. That was my day.

I missed my observations Monday because I was so exhausted from this weekend. I missed class today from taking care of my kids. I ordered my laptop and got a hell of a deal. ebay rocks. I am behind on my school work since I have been having to take care of the boys so much since my mom has been out of commission. I have ants in my apartment. I attract very strange odd people trying to sell me things in the parking lot of Wal-Mart. I am in a very weird mood. Stressed, tired, in need of a shower.

I got some yesterday. And I actually got to wake up snuggled next to him. I know I am rambling. My ferrets have been making me laugh. Clint didn't give Mason his meds for two days and he has been a holy terror.

Cameron and I are going to introduce the ferrets and Mazzy this weekend. I am going to record that shit cause it will be hella funny. Oh - the white one has been named Gurgle - courtesy of Mason - still working on a name for the other one. Speaking of, he wants out.

I have so much on my plate but dammit I can do it. I just need to get back on track and get done what needs to get done. I can do it. Everything has been going right for once and I be damned if I am going to let anyone fuck it up for me. But alas, I think it is too late. Start with one thing at a time. I didn't do so well on my test today but at least it is out of the way. I am going to sit down tomorrow and make a list of everything I need to do and everything I need and everything I am waiting on to happen. I feel out of sorts. I need to find my balance again.

They have sold out of my white chocolate caramel heeshey's kisses. I was quiet perturbed. I like that word. Perturbed.
dopespike:
I'm bummed to hear that... I hate it when someone does something that severly affects children. It is quite selfish and ignorant of the bastard. I hope your children are ok. As much as I can't stand children, they are our future so I hope the best for yours.

As for school, my brain picked a great time to check out. I'm so behind I'll be lucky to pass this quarter frown

Micah said i should try meditating to regain my balance in life. I dunno if it works or not but he seems really happy. You should give it a try too, although I have no idea how to meditate.

And yes, they do need more animal smileys. A cow one and a platypus one would be cool. They also need a goat one and a ninja one.
Feb 9, 2005

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