whiteiris

Actually what started it was when I found those messages. I had let myself be completely fooled. I let myself go and believe him that he wanted me. And then finding something like that when everything - in your eyes - had been perfect and things were going so well and then you get slapped in the face. Everything that was told to you was a lie and you let you guard down and trusted another person and they not stabbed you in the back but in the front while you were watching.

I feel that the minute I trust him so completely again he is going to hurt me even more so - again. That is what started it. It has been hard to put it into words but I think that is the best I can do. I wish I did not feel this way and could get over it but I don't know how. I see him but then I don't. Like he isn't really there. I have not voiced this before and now that I have I am not sure what to do about it. Can we ever go back to the way we were?