Hey. it's me. Well, I can at least upload from my phone. Wonder why that works and nothing else does. I still need some help with the other picture posting.
I woke up a few hours ago and cannot get back to sleep. I have been sick these past few days and it seems the sickly part has now spread to my ear. It hurts like a bitch and I get to start moving today. How much you wanna bet that by the time I doze off to sleep I have to be up to take the boys to school. They were really good for me last night. Didn't fight really and didn't beat up on each other. My apartment is a mess since everything is in boxes so it sucked for them but they knew I was sick and the place was a wreck. They went to bed no problems too.
I heard from Cameron today - he said he was going to see the CPA yesterday at 7. I told him I hope it went well and I haven't heard from him since then and that was around 3. So, yeah. There's one for communication and understanding.
I really don't like that picture of me but I have been fucking around with this shit for hours it seems and I will fuck with it some more after I move. I just wish my ear would stop hurting. I have not had an ear infection this bad since I was a little girl. Think I might pay a trip to the doctor at some point or see if I have something of the boys that I can use. Hey my lortab might owrk. But that would make me sick and again I need to move.
I miss my boyfriend. he has been an ass lately but I miss him. We have not spent the night together for the last 3 nights. That's quite a change from being together every night. Of course when he is being as ass I really don't want to be around him because he makes me feel stupid and bothersome. even if I am just sitting there not saying anything. I feel unwelcome. Not only in his house but his life. I often wonder if he is the one for me. Or if I am the one for him for that matter. Dammit I just want to wake up next to him but it's like I repulse him. Is that any way to be with someone you say you love? I think not. I do know that I cannot live the rest of my life this way.
I just want to be happy but then so does everyone else and what makes me so fucking special. nothing. so, get over it Sarah.
Clint sent support out yesterday. So I will get it in about a week. i guess I should call them and let them know my new address. I don't think they will forward that since it is a state check.
Well, I am going to take my depressed self and try to catch a nap before having to be up in an hour and a half. I hate being sick. i turn into a big baby and just want to be taken care of. But my boyfriend is so immersed in the depression that is his life that he can't snap out of it to see that I am here. Of course maybe that is the problem. He will always think that. That I will always be there...waiting...for him to get his shit right.
How is that for being taken for granted? Well, at least he isn't cutting himself. I do worry about that sometimes. That things will get so bad for him that he will start doing that again. He hasn't done it in the entire time I have known him - or at least that I have seen. I worry for him - not so much about him but for him.
I woke up a few hours ago and cannot get back to sleep. I have been sick these past few days and it seems the sickly part has now spread to my ear. It hurts like a bitch and I get to start moving today. How much you wanna bet that by the time I doze off to sleep I have to be up to take the boys to school. They were really good for me last night. Didn't fight really and didn't beat up on each other. My apartment is a mess since everything is in boxes so it sucked for them but they knew I was sick and the place was a wreck. They went to bed no problems too.
I heard from Cameron today - he said he was going to see the CPA yesterday at 7. I told him I hope it went well and I haven't heard from him since then and that was around 3. So, yeah. There's one for communication and understanding.
I really don't like that picture of me but I have been fucking around with this shit for hours it seems and I will fuck with it some more after I move. I just wish my ear would stop hurting. I have not had an ear infection this bad since I was a little girl. Think I might pay a trip to the doctor at some point or see if I have something of the boys that I can use. Hey my lortab might owrk. But that would make me sick and again I need to move.
I miss my boyfriend. he has been an ass lately but I miss him. We have not spent the night together for the last 3 nights. That's quite a change from being together every night. Of course when he is being as ass I really don't want to be around him because he makes me feel stupid and bothersome. even if I am just sitting there not saying anything. I feel unwelcome. Not only in his house but his life. I often wonder if he is the one for me. Or if I am the one for him for that matter. Dammit I just want to wake up next to him but it's like I repulse him. Is that any way to be with someone you say you love? I think not. I do know that I cannot live the rest of my life this way.
I just want to be happy but then so does everyone else and what makes me so fucking special. nothing. so, get over it Sarah.
Clint sent support out yesterday. So I will get it in about a week. i guess I should call them and let them know my new address. I don't think they will forward that since it is a state check.
Well, I am going to take my depressed self and try to catch a nap before having to be up in an hour and a half. I hate being sick. i turn into a big baby and just want to be taken care of. But my boyfriend is so immersed in the depression that is his life that he can't snap out of it to see that I am here. Of course maybe that is the problem. He will always think that. That I will always be there...waiting...for him to get his shit right.
How is that for being taken for granted? Well, at least he isn't cutting himself. I do worry about that sometimes. That things will get so bad for him that he will start doing that again. He hasn't done it in the entire time I have known him - or at least that I have seen. I worry for him - not so much about him but for him.