Tired Tired Tired. I am so glad the holidays are almost over. I still have to deal with peole being stupid on New Years but I will be home so there won't be much in the way of having to put up with anyone. I went shopping for me and the boys. Need to find a flour sifter. Took down the tree and put up my new lamp - Let there be light. I am going to look at apartments today. I hate moving but I need a two bedroom. My current apartment is clean so I feel better about that. I think after all my running today I will take a snooze.
The smurfs were on early this morning. I would have liked to watch them. I got a Good Luck Care Bear off Ebay yesterday. I have wanted one forever and got it for 15 bucks. They are really hard to find especially the ones from the eighties.
I go back to work next weekend. So does Cameron. I know he is happy to being going back to work. The deal with the bar is coming..slowly. I told him after the papers are signed and whatnot then we could go to The Oceanaire. Thier crab cakes are the best ever. They have a new menu printed every day since their shipment is fresh and different everyday. I have got quite a bit to do today. At least most of it is around my side of town.
We went to the bar and saw Grimace Christmas. We brought him food and dropped in to say Merry Humbug. I feel really sorry for him having to work and also his personal situation. Cameron has continued to be really sweet. We have spent time together everyday since we got back from Florida. It's been kinda nice. But at the same time it has also been nice to sit in my apartment alone. I think I might take a nap before I go anywhere. I like it when I wake up next to him and we are all snuggled next to each other and warm. I have been sleeping really well lately. Once I get to sleep that is.
Well, right now at this moment my life is pretty quiet. I had to think about that for a minute. But it is. Work in 2 weeks, school on the 20th. Things will get busy again then I am sure. I won't see much of Cameron unless I go to the bar since he will be working more. That is going to suck so that's why I am enjoying him now. At least he will be happier when we are together instead of worrying about whether or not he has a job. I just hope that if they have a bad night that he won't stress too much. It would be like trading stresses. But I guess stressing about your bar having a bad night is better than having the boss breathing down your neck. I hope everytihng works out the way he wants it to. I know he can do it - it really isn't a matter of that. Just sometimes things don't work out to plan.
Yeah - I do love him. Things have been getting better lately. After the Edie thing it was like I was back to square one. I was caught off guard and hurt more so because the timing of the whole thing was bad - really bad. if our relationship hadn't just taken a serious blow then I would have been able to handle it better and not be so upset. Oh I still would have been pissed but not as much. But as it stood he had pushed me as far as I could take it and then pulled me back. That shit is really uncomfotable. So we were not exactly in the best shape. At least I wasn't. I have no doubt that he knows what he wants and for the first time I feel like I can believe in the fact that he isn't going to change his mind. I am trying really hard to work at this and get back what we had only a month ago but it is hard. It is going to take a long time. I feel it though. It is still there - that feeling but all it would take is one thing and then poof! Sarah is gone. I would be no more. I am still very guarded and cautious.He still hasn't brought up living together. But you know what - that's fine. It really is. I never really expected him to do it anyway. I am not angry about it or hurt and anything like that but I don't think he would do it until he had to. Like when we move. Which is going to be bad enough that we move and know no one but having to try and live together is stressful enough as it is. And then we just moved and are trying to get jobs and such. Not going to be easy on us. But nothing with us ever has or will be. Wherever I go I am signing a year lease most likely. I really want Timberridge but I don't think they will have anything open when I need it. But that is the point of looking today. Well, maybe he will surprise me. Not hoping but it is a possiblity. We have been together for 2.5 years. That is the longest time I have ever dated anyone. Way longer.
Well, on that note I think I will get ready and go ahead with my errands. Unless I turn into a lazy ass and lay on the couch and don't get up. That is entirely a possibility.
The smurfs were on early this morning. I would have liked to watch them. I got a Good Luck Care Bear off Ebay yesterday. I have wanted one forever and got it for 15 bucks. They are really hard to find especially the ones from the eighties.
I go back to work next weekend. So does Cameron. I know he is happy to being going back to work. The deal with the bar is coming..slowly. I told him after the papers are signed and whatnot then we could go to The Oceanaire. Thier crab cakes are the best ever. They have a new menu printed every day since their shipment is fresh and different everyday. I have got quite a bit to do today. At least most of it is around my side of town.
We went to the bar and saw Grimace Christmas. We brought him food and dropped in to say Merry Humbug. I feel really sorry for him having to work and also his personal situation. Cameron has continued to be really sweet. We have spent time together everyday since we got back from Florida. It's been kinda nice. But at the same time it has also been nice to sit in my apartment alone. I think I might take a nap before I go anywhere. I like it when I wake up next to him and we are all snuggled next to each other and warm. I have been sleeping really well lately. Once I get to sleep that is.
Well, right now at this moment my life is pretty quiet. I had to think about that for a minute. But it is. Work in 2 weeks, school on the 20th. Things will get busy again then I am sure. I won't see much of Cameron unless I go to the bar since he will be working more. That is going to suck so that's why I am enjoying him now. At least he will be happier when we are together instead of worrying about whether or not he has a job. I just hope that if they have a bad night that he won't stress too much. It would be like trading stresses. But I guess stressing about your bar having a bad night is better than having the boss breathing down your neck. I hope everytihng works out the way he wants it to. I know he can do it - it really isn't a matter of that. Just sometimes things don't work out to plan.
Yeah - I do love him. Things have been getting better lately. After the Edie thing it was like I was back to square one. I was caught off guard and hurt more so because the timing of the whole thing was bad - really bad. if our relationship hadn't just taken a serious blow then I would have been able to handle it better and not be so upset. Oh I still would have been pissed but not as much. But as it stood he had pushed me as far as I could take it and then pulled me back. That shit is really uncomfotable. So we were not exactly in the best shape. At least I wasn't. I have no doubt that he knows what he wants and for the first time I feel like I can believe in the fact that he isn't going to change his mind. I am trying really hard to work at this and get back what we had only a month ago but it is hard. It is going to take a long time. I feel it though. It is still there - that feeling but all it would take is one thing and then poof! Sarah is gone. I would be no more. I am still very guarded and cautious.He still hasn't brought up living together. But you know what - that's fine. It really is. I never really expected him to do it anyway. I am not angry about it or hurt and anything like that but I don't think he would do it until he had to. Like when we move. Which is going to be bad enough that we move and know no one but having to try and live together is stressful enough as it is. And then we just moved and are trying to get jobs and such. Not going to be easy on us. But nothing with us ever has or will be. Wherever I go I am signing a year lease most likely. I really want Timberridge but I don't think they will have anything open when I need it. But that is the point of looking today. Well, maybe he will surprise me. Not hoping but it is a possiblity. We have been together for 2.5 years. That is the longest time I have ever dated anyone. Way longer.
Well, on that note I think I will get ready and go ahead with my errands. Unless I turn into a lazy ass and lay on the couch and don't get up. That is entirely a possibility.
