I got Jenna Jameson's book. I have never watched her flicks but have seen her in interviews and such. I have found that she is a really interesting person. So I bought her book and I am gonna read it.
It is still cold outside. Kinda nice - as long as you are inside. Christmas Eve is tomorrow. I really don't like Christmas time much. I like Halloween more. Well, I really could do without holidays - except the days off you get. People make sucj a big deal out of them. When I was younger holidays were great and even though they lost some of their charm as I grew older, they really just became more days after Memaw died. Nothing is really the same anymore. So - one more reason to get the fuck out of Shreveport.
Reading really good books at the moment. Dark Tower by Stephen King. A little slow in places but storyline is good and the way he has tied everything together. Cameron is going back to work on the 10th. I am so happy for him. I know he has been itching to go back to work and not working has been wearing on him. I have tried to keep him busy so he doesn't get too down.
I go back to work on the 9th. I need to let them know when to put me back on the schedule. I am looking forward to it. Mom lost her job and might get a 630 to 230 job. So - that means that I get to get up at the ass crack of dawn go pick up the boys from daycare and take them to school. Unless Asshole helps which I cannot count on that. No more sleep for Sarah. Mom has been on me so much about getting the boys and I think why don't you get on Clint's ass. Leave me alone. She called me 3 times this morning and I wasn't even awake yet asking me to pick up Mason and take him to daycare. I was like okay fine. I really wish she would just leave me alone. At least when I move I won't have to deal with her anymore. I won't have to deal with anyone. Getting a job and whatnot might be difficult and I will be alone with no one but Cameron and the boys but any hardship will be worth it to get out of here. Plus, it won't always be hard. Just for a little while.
It's coming down to the wire of my schooling and I need to focus on that to get good grades so I can graduate. It is hard when I have to deal with hre shit too. I am beginning to think that maybe I should just put them in daycare. That way no one will be inconvenienced. I won't have to hear shit from anyone and I can get school done. 3 normal semesters and 2 summers. Then I am done. Unless classes fuck up so let's hope they don't. I try to talk to my mom about all this and she doesn't seem to hear me. At least Hopper agreed about the taxes. One less thing to worry about there. She even thought I got paid for my student teaching - uh no. It's an internship - no one ever gets paid. She wants me to take off work to spend time with the boys but I don't make enough money to pay bills since I am off work so much. And she isn't helping me with money and once I move into a bigger apartment it's going to be really hard. I might only be able to get the boys once a week. Clint is going to need to step up. He is probably going to suggest they come stay with him since mom can't do it anymore. We will see.
Cameron and Grimace are getting the bar. I am really really happy for them both. Maybe this will give him a sense of worth and purpose for a bit. He is 28 and soon to be the owner of a profitable bar. I know it is not originally what he wanted but it will be great experience and he won't evr have to worry about losing his job. So many people want to see them succeed. He deserves it. He has been so good to me lately too. I am not sure if it is because he feels guilty about the Edie crap or guilty in general for the past while. Some would tell me to just be happy but his motivation of being sweet to me is just as important as the actions. He hasn't really said anything about moving in together. I know he doesn't want to live over here but he hasn't said anything about me moving so I don't know.
He is going to go with to look at apartments next week. Maybe it will come up then. I have to move at the end of next month and he moves at the beginning of April. so two months in between. I would like to try it but then again there is a fear there that hasn't been there before. He is probably going to come up with some reason why we shouldn't or why he won't and I will just swallow it and say ok. He has been spending a lot of time with me lately. I think it is because his puter is broken and he has nothing else to do. I wonder....a lot of things.
Right now I want a big glass of water. So I think I will go get one. I will also get out of the world I am in and go immerse myself in another. I have to think too much in this one. Makes my brain hurt.
It is still cold outside. Kinda nice - as long as you are inside. Christmas Eve is tomorrow. I really don't like Christmas time much. I like Halloween more. Well, I really could do without holidays - except the days off you get. People make sucj a big deal out of them. When I was younger holidays were great and even though they lost some of their charm as I grew older, they really just became more days after Memaw died. Nothing is really the same anymore. So - one more reason to get the fuck out of Shreveport.
Reading really good books at the moment. Dark Tower by Stephen King. A little slow in places but storyline is good and the way he has tied everything together. Cameron is going back to work on the 10th. I am so happy for him. I know he has been itching to go back to work and not working has been wearing on him. I have tried to keep him busy so he doesn't get too down.
I go back to work on the 9th. I need to let them know when to put me back on the schedule. I am looking forward to it. Mom lost her job and might get a 630 to 230 job. So - that means that I get to get up at the ass crack of dawn go pick up the boys from daycare and take them to school. Unless Asshole helps which I cannot count on that. No more sleep for Sarah. Mom has been on me so much about getting the boys and I think why don't you get on Clint's ass. Leave me alone. She called me 3 times this morning and I wasn't even awake yet asking me to pick up Mason and take him to daycare. I was like okay fine. I really wish she would just leave me alone. At least when I move I won't have to deal with her anymore. I won't have to deal with anyone. Getting a job and whatnot might be difficult and I will be alone with no one but Cameron and the boys but any hardship will be worth it to get out of here. Plus, it won't always be hard. Just for a little while.
It's coming down to the wire of my schooling and I need to focus on that to get good grades so I can graduate. It is hard when I have to deal with hre shit too. I am beginning to think that maybe I should just put them in daycare. That way no one will be inconvenienced. I won't have to hear shit from anyone and I can get school done. 3 normal semesters and 2 summers. Then I am done. Unless classes fuck up so let's hope they don't. I try to talk to my mom about all this and she doesn't seem to hear me. At least Hopper agreed about the taxes. One less thing to worry about there. She even thought I got paid for my student teaching - uh no. It's an internship - no one ever gets paid. She wants me to take off work to spend time with the boys but I don't make enough money to pay bills since I am off work so much. And she isn't helping me with money and once I move into a bigger apartment it's going to be really hard. I might only be able to get the boys once a week. Clint is going to need to step up. He is probably going to suggest they come stay with him since mom can't do it anymore. We will see.
Cameron and Grimace are getting the bar. I am really really happy for them both. Maybe this will give him a sense of worth and purpose for a bit. He is 28 and soon to be the owner of a profitable bar. I know it is not originally what he wanted but it will be great experience and he won't evr have to worry about losing his job. So many people want to see them succeed. He deserves it. He has been so good to me lately too. I am not sure if it is because he feels guilty about the Edie crap or guilty in general for the past while. Some would tell me to just be happy but his motivation of being sweet to me is just as important as the actions. He hasn't really said anything about moving in together. I know he doesn't want to live over here but he hasn't said anything about me moving so I don't know.
He is going to go with to look at apartments next week. Maybe it will come up then. I have to move at the end of next month and he moves at the beginning of April. so two months in between. I would like to try it but then again there is a fear there that hasn't been there before. He is probably going to come up with some reason why we shouldn't or why he won't and I will just swallow it and say ok. He has been spending a lot of time with me lately. I think it is because his puter is broken and he has nothing else to do. I wonder....a lot of things.
Right now I want a big glass of water. So I think I will go get one. I will also get out of the world I am in and go immerse myself in another. I have to think too much in this one. Makes my brain hurt.