whiteiris

You know - I know that there are some things that I should just let go. I shouldn't hold on to bad memories. I should just let them fall off me like running water. They don't bother me as much - I suppose time has a factor in that.

I sit here with the boys and I wonder what my life will be when I move. I wonder a lot of things constantly. I figure if you think about bad things happeneing then they won't happen - go figure. I really just want to be alone right now. I have gotten so used to it that I don't know how to be around people sometimes. I feel as if the world is passing me by - I am so focused on school and work and when I graduate then it will be school is work. And my kids again. I know it won't be long before htey are grown and I will wonder where the time went but you are only young once. Oh no I am not going on the self pity rant. I got myself into this situation and I am doing my best to get out.

I am just depressed but nowdays who isn't. Sometimes I want a different life but again who doesn't. I think I am going to lose myself in The Dark Tower. When I read I go into a whole other place and I am only pulled out by my own choice.

I really want my love to be with me. I want quietness in my head and I want the guarantee that things will eventually work out and bad people will get what they deserve.