Saw Clint and Susy today. He wasn't going to work and he lied when he said he wasn't home. I told him the boys wanted to see him and he said he wasn't there but he was. He throws it up in my face that the boys don't stay with me but yet he never sees them either. He tries to play the good father but he can't even pay his child support on time if he pays it at all. I get so fucking pissed off at him. He tries to make me feel like I am a bad mother for going back to school but he moved away several times leaving me with no one to help me and nothing.
He just comes and goes without thinking of anyone but himself. I have half a mind to just tell him that it is his turn to be a parent and let him do it by himself. He is way more selfish than I am. I can't believe that Susy would marry someone who can't even pay his child support and does nothing but mooch off her. Well, it is her life but comes the 17th he will be in jail one way or another. he dropped out of school and can't hold a job. he can say whatever he wants about where the boys stay but I will make damn sure he gos to fucking jail. If he gets out of my life and gets punished for his behavior then I will be a happy woman. He gets away with everything and people let him do it. But not for long. If it hadn't been for my idiot of a caseworker he would be in jail by now.
I don't want to be me sometimes. I am depressed, I hurt and I just want to be alone. Really alone. And I had to pick this weekend to get the boys. I try hard not to get on to them too much but they push me. Well, I will give my mom this time alone and then I will ask her to keep them for a week and leave me alone. I am not in any physical shape to be running after them. I am so tired.
Just so tired. I just want to cry. I think I am going to fail a class or two. Then my mom is going to be really pissed. Well, you try taking 21 hours and having everything that has happened to me and you pass all those fucking classes.
I am not wonder woman. Despite what you beleive. Cameron lost his job. i feel so bad for him. He was so close to getting his stuff paid off. I hope we can go out of town next weekend. That would be nice to just go and not have to worry about coming back any time soon.
I am just so tired. I just want to sleep. The boys thought we were going to do some things this weekend but they have run me ragged in just one day so we are staying in. I just don't have the energy. Not yet. Stupid surgery.
I am getting aggravated with them. I am aggravated with Clint. I am trying to not take it out on them. Why can't he be a good father? I should be able to depend on him for help not my mother. He only cares about himself and no one else. He can threaten me all he wants with whatever but I will make sure he goes to jail. Me having to pay back money is small compared to the satisfaction I will feel when he goes to jail. They will take custody and give it to my mom and when I graduate I will just get it back. What ever. He will be in jail and that is all that matters.
I hate being angry all the time and having to be mean. If he would just take responsibility. Fucking asshole. Instead he puts it all on me and tries to make me feel bad and like I am the one who did something wrong. I am going to school to get a better job to take care of our children because I can't dpened on him. I would have no porblem staying at home with them if he paid his fucking child support. He doesn't see that. I can't support us on my salary of a secretary. He seems to think that I can. Stupid ass. One day he will get what he deserves - the 17th of December.
He just comes and goes without thinking of anyone but himself. I have half a mind to just tell him that it is his turn to be a parent and let him do it by himself. He is way more selfish than I am. I can't believe that Susy would marry someone who can't even pay his child support and does nothing but mooch off her. Well, it is her life but comes the 17th he will be in jail one way or another. he dropped out of school and can't hold a job. he can say whatever he wants about where the boys stay but I will make damn sure he gos to fucking jail. If he gets out of my life and gets punished for his behavior then I will be a happy woman. He gets away with everything and people let him do it. But not for long. If it hadn't been for my idiot of a caseworker he would be in jail by now.
I don't want to be me sometimes. I am depressed, I hurt and I just want to be alone. Really alone. And I had to pick this weekend to get the boys. I try hard not to get on to them too much but they push me. Well, I will give my mom this time alone and then I will ask her to keep them for a week and leave me alone. I am not in any physical shape to be running after them. I am so tired.
Just so tired. I just want to cry. I think I am going to fail a class or two. Then my mom is going to be really pissed. Well, you try taking 21 hours and having everything that has happened to me and you pass all those fucking classes.
I am not wonder woman. Despite what you beleive. Cameron lost his job. i feel so bad for him. He was so close to getting his stuff paid off. I hope we can go out of town next weekend. That would be nice to just go and not have to worry about coming back any time soon.
I am just so tired. I just want to sleep. The boys thought we were going to do some things this weekend but they have run me ragged in just one day so we are staying in. I just don't have the energy. Not yet. Stupid surgery.
I am getting aggravated with them. I am aggravated with Clint. I am trying to not take it out on them. Why can't he be a good father? I should be able to depend on him for help not my mother. He only cares about himself and no one else. He can threaten me all he wants with whatever but I will make sure he goes to jail. Me having to pay back money is small compared to the satisfaction I will feel when he goes to jail. They will take custody and give it to my mom and when I graduate I will just get it back. What ever. He will be in jail and that is all that matters.
I hate being angry all the time and having to be mean. If he would just take responsibility. Fucking asshole. Instead he puts it all on me and tries to make me feel bad and like I am the one who did something wrong. I am going to school to get a better job to take care of our children because I can't dpened on him. I would have no porblem staying at home with them if he paid his fucking child support. He doesn't see that. I can't support us on my salary of a secretary. He seems to think that I can. Stupid ass. One day he will get what he deserves - the 17th of December.