Just got home. Gonna take a shower and go love on that sexy man o mine. Sam was late so I left without him. Typical fucking man. That's why I don't have friends. Too much extra shit. I went up to the bar tonight. I couldn't go back to sleep.
I feel bad about bitching so much sometimes. It seems that sometimes nothing ever makes me happy and I know this. But there are times when I am happy. and generally something comes along to fuck it up so I figure why try to be happy at all. As soon as you are something rips it away from you. The ice thaws a little every day but there is still a large chunk left.
We have some trust issues and I hope he can deal with that. Rather I have some trust issues. That girl turned out to say she didn't know him but please explain how she knew about us. Like where I worked and whatnot. That's creepy. Drama at the bar tonight but it made me laugh and forget about my shit for a bit. I have two papers left and one is sorta written. The other on eis going to be a bitch. But I will get it done.
I love him. I love him so much more than I ever thought I could love anyone else. I knew he was going to be something to me from that morning at breakfast. He knows it too but sometimes he seems almost sad at knowing that. That he has resigned himself to being with me, that he doesn't really have a choice. Not sure how I feel about that. He doesn't want to be without me but he doesn't want to be around me either.
I am getting sick. He is going to make me some tea and I am going to rub his feet. I love days like this. it's rainy outside and getting cold and I get to snuggle with the man I love. That's really all I want - not sex (for a change) but to have him hold me and feel that connectedness with him. Just to have him hold me and feel the whole world melt away.
My lightbulb in my living room keeps blowing out recently. I need to go ahead and take a shower. I am sleepy. A 2 hour nap should suffice.Gonna blow my nose too. Yes, that thought is very sexy I am sure.
I feel bad about bitching so much sometimes. It seems that sometimes nothing ever makes me happy and I know this. But there are times when I am happy. and generally something comes along to fuck it up so I figure why try to be happy at all. As soon as you are something rips it away from you. The ice thaws a little every day but there is still a large chunk left.
We have some trust issues and I hope he can deal with that. Rather I have some trust issues. That girl turned out to say she didn't know him but please explain how she knew about us. Like where I worked and whatnot. That's creepy. Drama at the bar tonight but it made me laugh and forget about my shit for a bit. I have two papers left and one is sorta written. The other on eis going to be a bitch. But I will get it done.
I love him. I love him so much more than I ever thought I could love anyone else. I knew he was going to be something to me from that morning at breakfast. He knows it too but sometimes he seems almost sad at knowing that. That he has resigned himself to being with me, that he doesn't really have a choice. Not sure how I feel about that. He doesn't want to be without me but he doesn't want to be around me either.
I am getting sick. He is going to make me some tea and I am going to rub his feet. I love days like this. it's rainy outside and getting cold and I get to snuggle with the man I love. That's really all I want - not sex (for a change) but to have him hold me and feel that connectedness with him. Just to have him hold me and feel the whole world melt away.
My lightbulb in my living room keeps blowing out recently. I need to go ahead and take a shower. I am sleepy. A 2 hour nap should suffice.Gonna blow my nose too. Yes, that thought is very sexy I am sure.