I have been irked again. I went by his apartment to give him some quick lovin and he is not there. The bar closes at 6 and he is usually home by 7. It is 752. I thought he might be at my place but guess what - NOPE.
I went up there Wednesday night and worked on my homework. The bar closes at 4 but he didn't get home until 6. He said he spent time playing pool and then he went home and crashed. While I appreciate the message, he really isn't acting as if he really gives a shit if I am around or not. The minute we get back from our trip he freaks on me and needs space.
I found out Clint is getting married in June. I think that is why my panties are in a wad. It pisses me off that he gets to have this perfect life with no worries. Well, that's only what he thinks. I have something in mind that will make them both have to buckle down and realize that he has responsibliity.
So maybe I shouldn't talk to Cameron right now. I have a boyfriend who wants to spend time playing pool rather than cuddling with me. Especially now when I am about to FUCKING lose it. I am so scared. I have to have bloodwork done today and it's making the surgery all that much more real. And my boyfriend is no where to be found. Of course I really haven't looked.
So, I will do what I always do and get over it. I have a wedding to go to Saturday night and it should be fun. Sam called me and asked to do something with me so I said we could go to this wedding. I can't stay out late since I have to write that stupid paper and I might have 2 tests Monday. I hope not.
So, I won't see Cameron probably until Sunday and maybe not even then. Maybe I should just disappear. I don't think he would even notice. Hell, the only one would be my mom. I feel so small and invisible, like I don't matter. People just walk right through me. It's tough feeling this way and putting on a pretty face for the whole world to see.
I reall need my padded room with the baseball bat and the vases. That would help right about now. The rage I felt before is coming back. I hope I can hold everything together until Wednesday. Then it won't matter. I will be so fucked up nothing will matter.
I went up there Wednesday night and worked on my homework. The bar closes at 4 but he didn't get home until 6. He said he spent time playing pool and then he went home and crashed. While I appreciate the message, he really isn't acting as if he really gives a shit if I am around or not. The minute we get back from our trip he freaks on me and needs space.
I found out Clint is getting married in June. I think that is why my panties are in a wad. It pisses me off that he gets to have this perfect life with no worries. Well, that's only what he thinks. I have something in mind that will make them both have to buckle down and realize that he has responsibliity.
So maybe I shouldn't talk to Cameron right now. I have a boyfriend who wants to spend time playing pool rather than cuddling with me. Especially now when I am about to FUCKING lose it. I am so scared. I have to have bloodwork done today and it's making the surgery all that much more real. And my boyfriend is no where to be found. Of course I really haven't looked.
So, I will do what I always do and get over it. I have a wedding to go to Saturday night and it should be fun. Sam called me and asked to do something with me so I said we could go to this wedding. I can't stay out late since I have to write that stupid paper and I might have 2 tests Monday. I hope not.
So, I won't see Cameron probably until Sunday and maybe not even then. Maybe I should just disappear. I don't think he would even notice. Hell, the only one would be my mom. I feel so small and invisible, like I don't matter. People just walk right through me. It's tough feeling this way and putting on a pretty face for the whole world to see.
I reall need my padded room with the baseball bat and the vases. That would help right about now. The rage I felt before is coming back. I hope I can hold everything together until Wednesday. Then it won't matter. I will be so fucked up nothing will matter.