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white_lionheart

Texas

Member Since 2020

Followers 94 Following 250

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A Suicidal Love Letter ( part 28)

Aug 10, 2020
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I hate you. And I hate myself for hating you. I’m so confused now. It just seems I was happier with you than without. But before we met things were so much simpler. So why all this hate now that you are gone? You leave me with tears of blood on my broken mirror.
Shards of glass were once a reflection of me. When you look at me, you look in disbelief. I see your pain. It’s just like mine. It’s only a matter of time, we’ll find out what will happen to me. I’m in it too seriously. I’m acting deliriously. My heart is telling me to stay. But I’m wondering which way my mind is bringing me. I don’t know what to believe; and I can’t conceive my sanity.
It hurts so much I began to bleed from my eyes, because of the lies, the things you say, the way you treat me. It’s the way you beat me down. Can’t you see the tears of blood? They used to be tears of love. With everything held above my head, out of reach. I’m tired of hearing the “everything is going to be all right” speech.
Too much pain is draining my life force. Why do you have to take it all away? You wouldn’t let her stay. When I cry, my soul feels like it’s going to die. I asked God why. Why live… when you know you’re going to die? “Death”… please take me! Because you are going to break me!
I just want to stand here surrounded by the pieces of my broken mirror. Cut…bleeding…listening for a voice of reasoning. Mirror on the wall, why do you mock me? Why is it when I strike at you, I begin to bleed. I need to be loved. I need to be held. I need to know everything is going to be all right. Then maybe I’ll survive another night.
I’m cut. I’m bleeding. And yet I feel it ain’t enough. Pain is pleasure. It’s the very measure of my sanity, the very calamity of my life. I thought I found my wife. Where did I go wrong? No longer by my side, I keep asking the Lord why. Just put me out of my misery. Take away my pain, because you will always remain. Stained in blood, looking in the mirror, I see the one to blame. Dying for you, I am my worse enemy.

PART 29

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