whiskeyfightpit

Man, I got a major, forbidden crush on a totally solid female. She's like the female equivalent of me. We finish each others sentences and shit. We like about 75 percent of the same musical artistes and what-have-yous. But hey, it's totally off limits at the same time. I really don't want to get into why (it aint an under-age thing, creepazoids). It hurts in a big way because of that fact that I can't have this woman. Maybe the hurt comes from my focus on too much of the GOOD that could come out of me revealing all of this info AND the fact that I can't make any moves or sudden changes in FRIEND department. Everything sounds like a an Electric Light Orchestra chorus when it plays out in your head. We all have those "Ideal Love Dreams" and daytime fantasies about "always saying and doing the right thing". This is supposed to all hit the desired female like cupids crossbow as we hold hands walking across into the Canadian border and into true love. What I need to do is to focus on all of the NEGATIVE aspects of said person and the NEGATIVE situations that would arise if I were to speak up. Talking oneself out of heart matters takes years off yer life, I reckon. But at the same time, who am I to assume this person wants the "next step" chit chat? She's from the other side of the tracks (as in the rich people's part), extremely talented in arts/crafts/music/lit and such, is devilishly gorgeous, and witty and charming as all get out. What gives me the right to want more out of our current situation? Shouldn't I be able to enjoy a simple friendship with someone who shares common ground? Why is it that when a true compadre comes along, and is also a woman, I get "That Old Feeling"??? This wouldn't even be an issue if I wasn't a fat kid, I would let her know how I was feeling...but playing it cool, of course. Regardless of the potential outcome, I would know that my hypothetically killer physique and slightly witty demeanor would win in the end. But I gotta deal with my Michelin Man self, and that swings the balance. Cause what if I AM just someone she gets new music from? That'll wear thin if you aint sportin' the Charles Atlas or semi-Charles Atlas look. My best, and most honorable bet would be to continue on as a really good friend. Someone who tells jokes, gives good advice, is a positive influence, suggests decent music/movies/and films, and is just generally THERE for whatever may or may not be needed. This is American baby, fat equals being a great friend and nothing more. Might as well accept it and spend more time with my dog and my Jazzmaster. And you SuicideGirls morlocks!!! Can't forget you cats.

SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY
Nick Cave "Mercy"
Nick Cave "Watching Alice"
Nick Cave "There is a Kingdom"
Nick Cave "Are You the one that I've been waiting for?"
Nick Cave "Tupelo"
Nick Cave "Brother, my cup is empty"
Nick Cave "The Weeping Song"
Nick Cave "The Ship Song"
Nick Cave "Oh, Deanna"
Johnny Cash "Long Black Veil"

Let me know what you think about this little piece of business. I know I should stop listening to soo much Nick Cave. That's probably why I wrote this next pilfered hack job:

CANT IMAGINE IT BEING POSSIBLE
NO SIR, I BELIEVE NOT
FOR THERE TO BE A GREATER HELL
THAN THE ONE IN MY HEAD
AND THE ONE IN MY HEART

YOU CAN PILE EM UP IN SCHOOL HALLWAYS
STACKED CLEAN LIKE PALLETS
ALONG THE SEAFOAM GREEN CEMENT VAULT
BODIES WITH NO SOULS OF COURSE
WHERE ITS USELESS TO CRY, CHILD

HEAR EM CALLING OUT IN THE NIGHT
LIKE SHEEP BEING DRUG FROM THE FARM
BY THE WOLVES. BY THE FOXES. BY THE JACKALS AND THEIR STARVING YELPS
HOLY BONDS AND VOIDS OF UNENDING WEEPING
PAPER SEWN THE SEEDS OF THE BUTCHERS KNIFE

CANT IMAGINE IT BEING POSSIBLE
NO SIR, I BELIEVE NOT
FOR THERE TO BE A GOD IN THE SKY
OR IN THE EARTH
OR ANYWHERE MAN CALLS HOME

THE BACKS OF THE DOCKWORKERS CREAK AND SNAP
AGED ONE HUNDRED YEARS LIKE THE MIGHTY OAK
CARRYING AND SHUFFLING THE WEIGHT
OF A NEAR FLAWLESS PLAN TO TAKE WHATS YOURS
WITH NARY AN END IN SIGHT, OLORD

THEYVE GOT SOME FOLKS THERE ACROSS TOWN
WITH PLENTY OF FOOD AND SHELTER FROM THE NIGHT
NOT TO MENTION ALL THAT HEAVEN ALLOWS
IN TERMS OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS
THE SORROW IN THE FACES AND THE DREAD IN THEIR SOULS

KEEP ME SCRATCHIN MY HEAD TO THIS VERY DAY, OLORD

CANT IMAGINE IT POSSIBLE
NO SIR, I BELIEVE NOT
FOR A POOR MAN TO FIND PEACE
AND A RICH MAN TO APPRECIATE HIS
OR EVEN COME TOGETHER TO LAUGH AT THE MISERY, OH MY.

COUNTY CLERKS DAUGHTER GROWS UP QUICK AND TRUE
MIND FULL OF BOOKS THAT MOST LOOK PAST
SOUL FULL OF LOVE THAT MOST THOUGHT LOST
SURELY THERE MUST BE A PRINCE OVER YONDER
SOMEONE TO SHARE ALL OF THESE BLESSINGS, OLORD

MINERS SON WEARS THE SCARS OF HIS FATHERS LOST SOUL
HIDES HIS BIG HEART AND JOY FROM THE PEOPLE HE MEETS
AND HE KNOWS THAT ONE DAY THE WHIPPINGS WILL CEASE
SO ALL THAT MAKES A MAN WILL BE FREE TO GROW
AND THERELL BE A WOMAN THERE TO LIGHT THE PATH

CANT IMAGINE IT POSSIBLE
NO SIR, I BELIEVE NOT
FOR A MAN TO GIVE HIS HEART
AND A WOMAN TO REMAIN TRUE
NO MYSTERY TO THAT THING CALLED LOVE
LIKE THERE AINT NO MYSTERY TO A BANKERS SMILE
LIKE THERE AINT NO GOD TO REWARD YOU FOR WHATS GOOD IN YOUR SOUL
LIKE THERE AINT NO END TO THE FACTORYS WHISTLE
I KNOW THAT THEYLL SING THIS SONG TILL THE END OF TIME

CANT HAVE A MYSTERY BOUT SOMETHING THAT AINT EVEN THERE
TALKIN BOUT LOVE AND HELL, O LORD
THE ONE IN MY HEAD
AND THE ONE IN MY HEART






Yeah, so sue me if I sound too much like these guys. At least I'm a hack! Maybe I should listen to more Kraftwerk.