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whiskeyfightpit

Toledo, Ohio near the Red Ships Of Spain

Member Since 2003

Followers 30 Following 28

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Saturday Feb 28, 2004

Feb 28, 2004
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I'm putting a children's album together. It's just going to be insane gibberish and advice but with no swearing or homosexuality or suburban perversion that I usually write about. I suppose that's what I would think I children's album should be. They shouldn't be filled into the unsavory aspect of life until later and then the rest of their life could be miserable after that. No one should spoil that magical time especially some big noisy ogre from Northwest Ohio.

THE ROBOTS WILL EAT YOU, LITTLE GIRL

PETTING ZOO OATMEAL

POLAR BEAR CUBS AND DOILEYS

SWING WITH ME AROUND THE APPLE TREE

GRANDMA'S MEDICINE CABINET

DOING CHORES FOR PIXIE STICKS

JUMPING ROPE WITH THE SPECIAL KIDS

SOME KIDS HAVE BAD TEETH AND ODORS

SPEND TIME WITH YOUR GREAT GRANDMA OR GOD WILL HATE YOU

MAKING EXTRA MONEY BY STEALING CHEWING TOBACCO FROM THE GROCERY STORE AND RE-SELLING IT TO KIDS ON THE PLAYGROUND

DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HELL?

Personally, I think this album will be a success. Mainly this has to do with the LSD I will be coming across in the near future. Nothing says SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN'S ALBUM like a batch of psychadelic drugs. I know I said that my dabblings in the world of substances was long behind me.....but I lied. Fuck it. I don't give a shit. If anyone's got some crank, I'll do that too. Juice me up and turn me loose on stage with a notebook full of children's songs. I've got this high pitched british accent that would be perfect for innocent lyrics. But if I'm on crank than a few expletives may slip out. It's natural, you see. It really doesn't matter to me. I hope I get a show at the mental institution. I know these journals are getting redundant. So what.

SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY
THROBBING GRISTLE "Hamburger Lady"

The fucking dudes who sing ALL THE SAILORS SAY BRANDY, YOU'RE A FINE GIRL....WHAT A GOOD WIFE YOU WILL BE.

Captain Beefheart "Safe As Milk"

Jandek THE GONE WAIT (yes, Jandek again).

T-Rex "Debora"

Dalek "Necro..."

KAROLI "When They Crucified Our Lord. The Essential Folk Recordings of Karoli"

Isley Brothers "Atlantis"

ABC "Poison Arrow"

ESG "South Bronx Story"

Derek Bailey & The Ruins (again, yes again!)


miao!! miao!! miao!! miao!! miao!!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
coldenginelogix:
No Childrens album would be complete without the vital remix of: Mr Fred Rodgers service record and confirmed kill total read aloud to the backdrop of pop rocks in a bowl of soda while the wind howls through the mix-
Feb 29, 2004
whiskeyfightpit:
The leaves have fallen
and there's no asians to put the load on
Your parents are plum tired
from picking other peoples bones clean
Be a good sport
and rake up those autumn droppings
you could pretend like it's an R-Rated movie
and snort pixie sticks like Tony Montana
cause fantasy is so cool
this reality stuff is totally gay
the fall can be pretty sweet
it's really close to christmas
you could put up some cheap lights in the yard
put up an image of family while your at it
someone has to
can't just pass it along to some Puerto Ricans
put on your trousers
rake those leaves
doing chores
for pixie sticks
doing things
cause being on top of the world opens up time
fall time
Feb 29, 2004

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