ARE YOU DRINKIN' WITH ME JESUS? This Jello Biafra/Mojo Nixon song pretty much somes up my life. The only song that touches me on that level is IN DREAMS by Roy Orbison. That's enough of all that crazy talk.
typical conversation I have with women
"Hello, my names Dusty"
"Good luck with the whole living in the dumpster look. Later on scuzzball. Call me when you get some Ashanti cds and a few tips from Queer Eye for the straight guy."
"But I manage a record store and own my own car!"
"Does a bear shit in the woods?"
The ladies just aren't going for me these days. Even when I'm laying down biohazard levels of charm. I'm gonna switch up my style and give off one of those "Potential Wife Beater" vibes. Chicks around here really go for that shit. I'm not kidding. Maybe girls are turned on by dudes that are dangerous or seem uncontrollable. Must be the challenge of trying to rope them in that turns them on. Us nice guys just get sent paying the bar tab and not much else.
"Is she really going out with him?"
Had to skip out on the ole work place today. Partied all night. About nine oclock I left the party and went right into work. What's really cool is I had to bug bomb the store the night before. Nothing mixes with booze stomach quite like poison and dead cockroach carcass. Oh well, I called someone in to work for me and I slept all goddamned day. The fucking cockroaches are coming from the laundromat next door. I'm gonna firebomb that place like it was a British Embassy in Ireland round about 1916. Fuck em. If they didn;t cater to gutter trash and fucking throwbacks I wouldn't be swimming in roaches. Everytime I think about cockroaches I think about Godzilla VS. Gigan. Everytime I think about Godzilla VS. Gigan I think about how I would like to do about twelve hits of acid. Every time I think about doing twelve hits of acid I think about how great it must be to be Tony Orlando. Every time I think about Tony Orlando I think about used car salesman and Alfred Molina. Everytime I think about Alfred Molina I think about Boogie Nights and little chinese homosexual sex slaves and fire works.
you remember that shit right? "Oh that's Cosmo, he's chinese!"
Cheech's grand mixtape has been rocking a llamas ass all over my basement today. When I mean rocking a llamas ass I really mean taste a honey badger's ass. Wesley Willis is my fucking savior.
today's theme is free association and hangovers.
I wanna kiss you all over...till the night closes in.
A mountain man is what I choose to be. Where the days are long and the whiskey runs free. All The ladies smile and wave. Where the postal service delivers records to your cave. You can trim lawns and worship any gods. Where even the lesbian gym teachers give you the nod. Mountain Man. Oh Mountain Man. Like Robert Redford in Jeremiah Johnson. No cell phones. No traffic lights. old Chevy trucks and it's not a crime to swing at 'em with a lead pipe.
How about that for poetry. I'm gonna go down to the University coffee shops and slam that bitch. Then I'm gonna puke on some little indie fucks thrift store sweater. If I was more of a pervert I could be the next GG Allin. Either way they aint gonna take me in the Jesuit Monk school. Too much devil music and scribblin' swear words on my Trapper Keeper. Can't please 'em all I guess.
None of the mosquitos that bite me have the West Nile virus. Fate is a cruel mistress.
I'm going to see Freddy VS. Jason tomorrow. It'll probably involve Long Island Iced Tea and Tonka Truck loads of pure jackassery. What made Milwaukee famous.....right Cheech!!!
Anyway, I can't wait till Alisa is one of the many fine fine SG centerfolds. All kinds of 40 year olds will be swamping up your email box trying to buy your used socks and shit. When you're pics go up, I'm sending you a bottle of booze....your choice. Please don't pick Cristal or any other form of rap video gimmickery,
The Three-Six-Mafia are downright hilarious!! Check out some of their song titles the next time you are in a record store. What a bunch of knee-slappers!! I think gangsta rap is the new disco!
soundtrack of the day
Cheech's mix tape with "You're so full of shit" by the motherfucking Electric Eels. The Eels best represent what I would do with guitar, drums, and a cassette recorder.
typical conversation I have with women
"Hello, my names Dusty"
"Good luck with the whole living in the dumpster look. Later on scuzzball. Call me when you get some Ashanti cds and a few tips from Queer Eye for the straight guy."
"But I manage a record store and own my own car!"
"Does a bear shit in the woods?"
The ladies just aren't going for me these days. Even when I'm laying down biohazard levels of charm. I'm gonna switch up my style and give off one of those "Potential Wife Beater" vibes. Chicks around here really go for that shit. I'm not kidding. Maybe girls are turned on by dudes that are dangerous or seem uncontrollable. Must be the challenge of trying to rope them in that turns them on. Us nice guys just get sent paying the bar tab and not much else.
"Is she really going out with him?"
Had to skip out on the ole work place today. Partied all night. About nine oclock I left the party and went right into work. What's really cool is I had to bug bomb the store the night before. Nothing mixes with booze stomach quite like poison and dead cockroach carcass. Oh well, I called someone in to work for me and I slept all goddamned day. The fucking cockroaches are coming from the laundromat next door. I'm gonna firebomb that place like it was a British Embassy in Ireland round about 1916. Fuck em. If they didn;t cater to gutter trash and fucking throwbacks I wouldn't be swimming in roaches. Everytime I think about cockroaches I think about Godzilla VS. Gigan. Everytime I think about Godzilla VS. Gigan I think about how I would like to do about twelve hits of acid. Every time I think about doing twelve hits of acid I think about how great it must be to be Tony Orlando. Every time I think about Tony Orlando I think about used car salesman and Alfred Molina. Everytime I think about Alfred Molina I think about Boogie Nights and little chinese homosexual sex slaves and fire works.
you remember that shit right? "Oh that's Cosmo, he's chinese!"
Cheech's grand mixtape has been rocking a llamas ass all over my basement today. When I mean rocking a llamas ass I really mean taste a honey badger's ass. Wesley Willis is my fucking savior.
today's theme is free association and hangovers.
I wanna kiss you all over...till the night closes in.
A mountain man is what I choose to be. Where the days are long and the whiskey runs free. All The ladies smile and wave. Where the postal service delivers records to your cave. You can trim lawns and worship any gods. Where even the lesbian gym teachers give you the nod. Mountain Man. Oh Mountain Man. Like Robert Redford in Jeremiah Johnson. No cell phones. No traffic lights. old Chevy trucks and it's not a crime to swing at 'em with a lead pipe.
How about that for poetry. I'm gonna go down to the University coffee shops and slam that bitch. Then I'm gonna puke on some little indie fucks thrift store sweater. If I was more of a pervert I could be the next GG Allin. Either way they aint gonna take me in the Jesuit Monk school. Too much devil music and scribblin' swear words on my Trapper Keeper. Can't please 'em all I guess.
None of the mosquitos that bite me have the West Nile virus. Fate is a cruel mistress.
I'm going to see Freddy VS. Jason tomorrow. It'll probably involve Long Island Iced Tea and Tonka Truck loads of pure jackassery. What made Milwaukee famous.....right Cheech!!!
Anyway, I can't wait till Alisa is one of the many fine fine SG centerfolds. All kinds of 40 year olds will be swamping up your email box trying to buy your used socks and shit. When you're pics go up, I'm sending you a bottle of booze....your choice. Please don't pick Cristal or any other form of rap video gimmickery,
The Three-Six-Mafia are downright hilarious!! Check out some of their song titles the next time you are in a record store. What a bunch of knee-slappers!! I think gangsta rap is the new disco!
soundtrack of the day
Cheech's mix tape with "You're so full of shit" by the motherfucking Electric Eels. The Eels best represent what I would do with guitar, drums, and a cassette recorder.