Matthew Macaunaughy from Dazed and Confused. That spelling is atrocious but it just aboot sums my complacent ass up. Well, I'm not preying on young girls and pretending to be cool or anything but we have alot in common. My brother is 20 and hangs out with people that are roughly 17-19 age bracket, Since most of my friends are working/school, in the army, or serving jail terms...I'm shit out of luck in the compadre department. So I'm hanging out and passing the buck with all of these saplings and it makes me feel real low. Seriously, I feel so inferior and in the way. These kids are into the same silly shit that every other automaton is into. I mean they had to ask me what the word ALOOF meant when I used it to describe one of my brothers friends. The problem is I'm not even in the same fighting class as an educated person...but it's as if I'm speaking Greek to the natives. Maybe it's time to forget about this town and persue the AMERICAN DREAM I hear so much about. There is no fucking American Dream. If I move to a big city to meet more like minded folk I'll be living on dog food in a closet apartment...If I'm lucky! I've got no education and no skills other than making myself look crazy. It's just sad all of the bullshit American sales pitches you receive when you're young are all lies. I wanna believe that you can move to a new city and begin a new life...all on the basis of your work ethic. It's just one big bummer of a hard luck story. Oh yeah dog food isn't really that cheap. Ramen noodles are still a solid value. Carl Buddig deli slices are generally 75 cents a pack. That could be lunch and dinner for roughly 3 days on my diet. Bread is still relatively cheap. You can catch the store brand for around a buck a loaf. I'm glad I have my DVDS, books, and music. They keep my mind pretty fresh. I just don't have any friends or people to relate to. Bright side is a good looking girl from my work played a game of Truth or Dare with me. She was asking the tough questions. I had no idea people in this provincial little town had thoughts like this. David Lynch knows, right? Anyway, here are some of the questions she was asking me:
"Do you like a finger in your ass when your getting a blowjob?"
"Do you jack off after going to the strip club?"
"Do you think of me when you masturbate?"
"Would you fuck a guy?"
"How many times a week do you masturbate?"
I'm not saying I don't like the filthy talk, but I know this woman wants nothing to do with me. She did appreciate my honesty and thought it was quaint. Perhaps she's just curious for a male perspective on these topics. Story of my life everytime. Great guy to talk to, but I don't really want anything more than an ear to hang on.
Tonight just sucks...I'm putting on some Songs
hia and I'm gonna cry into a pillow until the liquor store opens tomorrow. Soundtrack of the day TED LEO "Hearts Of Oak" This guy is the king supreme. Reminds me of Elvis Costello and Thin Lizzy. Big time hooks...serious arena rock basslines...no bullshit hipster irony. I'm berry berry happy I discovered this guy....ahhh a bright side!
I'll be at Put In Bay tomorrow drinking at the World's Longest Bar. Maybe it'll be fun...these days I just entertain myself and let other people deal with. I usually just fall off of stuff or do redneck voice routines. In this chain gang life you gotta have a little taste of heaven, right?
"Do you like a finger in your ass when your getting a blowjob?"
"Do you jack off after going to the strip club?"
"Do you think of me when you masturbate?"
"Would you fuck a guy?"
"How many times a week do you masturbate?"
I'm not saying I don't like the filthy talk, but I know this woman wants nothing to do with me. She did appreciate my honesty and thought it was quaint. Perhaps she's just curious for a male perspective on these topics. Story of my life everytime. Great guy to talk to, but I don't really want anything more than an ear to hang on.
Tonight just sucks...I'm putting on some Songs
hia and I'm gonna cry into a pillow until the liquor store opens tomorrow. Soundtrack of the day TED LEO "Hearts Of Oak" This guy is the king supreme. Reminds me of Elvis Costello and Thin Lizzy. Big time hooks...serious arena rock basslines...no bullshit hipster irony. I'm berry berry happy I discovered this guy....ahhh a bright side!
I'll be at Put In Bay tomorrow drinking at the World's Longest Bar. Maybe it'll be fun...these days I just entertain myself and let other people deal with. I usually just fall off of stuff or do redneck voice routines. In this chain gang life you gotta have a little taste of heaven, right?
but i know what you mean and i'm way older than you...but at least you've found people to hang out with in your town...all the people i try to make friends with all they want to do is go bar hopping...get stupid drunk..and fuck anonymous guys or girls....when you're married and in love and a non-drinker this isn't too terribly exciting, ya know?
and i know what you mean about canada...it would seem so chill to live there. to be able to grow your own and not worry about going to jail or to go to your local head shop and buy a bag of really good buds from amsterdam
how fucking cool would that be?
and why wouldn't i take the time to come and visit your journal? you always have such interesting rants to read and think about...and plus we'd probably hang out and smoke a lot if we were in the same town, anyway. right? so no more of that kissing my ass talk...you got it
and you can't move away until after the cedar point trip...i'm still trying to talk dave into it but i don't know how we're going to be able to afford it. oh well...i'll figure something out. i'll probably have to end up dancing again...something i haven't done in over 10 years and something i said i would never be desperate enough to do again...but when the bills are piling up and i'm dangerously close to losing my internet conncetion...i have to do something, right? oh well...talk at ya later.