Don't Think Twice, It's All Right
by Timothy D. Wilson
NY Times 12/29/05
It's navel gazing time again, that stretch of the year
when many of us turn our attention inward and think
about how we can improve the way we live our lives.
But as we embark on this annual ritual of
introspection, we would do well to ask ourselves a
simple question: Does it really do any good?
The poet Theodore Roethke had some insight into the
matter: "Self-contemplation is a curse / That makes an
old confusion worse." As a psychologist who conducts
research on self-knowledge and happiness, I think
Roethke had a point, one that's supported by a growing
body of controlled psychological studies.
Not sure how you feel about a special person in your
life? Analyzing the pluses and minuses of the
relationship might not be the answer.
In a study I conducted with Dolores Kraft, a clinical
psychologist at the University of Texas Southwestern
Medical Center, and Dana Dunn, a social psychologist
at Moravian College in Pennsylvania, people in one
group were asked to list the reasons their
relationship with a romantic partner was going the way
it was, and then rate how satisfied they were with the
relationship. People in another group were asked to
rate their satisfaction without any analysis; they
just gave their gut reactions.
It might seem that the people who thought about the
specifics would be best at figuring out how they
really felt, and that their satisfaction ratings would
thus do the best job of predicting the outcome of
their relationships.
In fact, we found the reverse. It was the people in
the "gut feeling" group whose ratings predicted
whether they were still dating their partner several
months later. As for the navel gazers, their
satisfaction ratings did not predict the outcome of
their relationships at all. Our conclusion? Too much
analysis can confuse people about how they really
feel. There are severe limits to what we can discover
through self-reflection, and trying to explain the
unexplainable does not lead to a sudden parting of the
seas with our hidden thoughts and feelings revealed
like flopping fish.
Self-reflection is especially problematic when we are
feeling down. Research by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, a
clinical psychologist at Yale University, shows that
when people are depressed, ruminating on their
problems makes things worse.
In one study, mildly depressed college students were
asked to spend eight minutes thinking about themselves
or to spend the same amount of time thinking about
mundane topics like "clouds forming in the sky."
People in the first group focused on the negative
things in their lives and sunk into a worse mood.
People in the other group actually felt better
afterward, possibly because their negative self-focus
was "turned off" by the distraction task.
What about people like police officers and
firefighters who witness terrible events? Is it
helpful for them to reflect on their experiences?
For years it was believed that emergency workers
should undergo a debriefing process to focus on and
relive their experiences; the idea was that this would
make them feel better and prevent mental health
problems down the road. After 9/11, for example,
well-meaning counselors flocked to New York to help
police officers, firefighters and rescue workers deal
with the trauma of what they had seen.
But did it do any good? In an extensive review of the
research, a team led by Richard McNally, a clinical
psychologist at Harvard, concluded that debriefing
procedures have little benefit and might even hurt by
interrupting the normal healing process. People often
distract themselves from thinking about painful events
right after they occur, and this may be better than
mentally reliving the events.
What can we do to improve ourselves and feel happier?
Numerous social psychological studies have confirmed
Aristotle's observation that "We become just by the
practice of just actions, self-controlled by
exercising self-control, and courageous by performing
acts of courage." If we are dissatisfied with some
aspect of our lives, one of the best approaches is to
act more like the person we want to be, rather than
sitting around analyzing ourselves.
Social psychologist Daniel Batson and colleagues at
the University of Kansas found that participants who
were given an opportunity to do a favor for another
person ended up viewing themselves as kind,
considerate people - unless, that is, they were asked
to reflect on why they had done the favor. People in
that group tended in the end to not view themselves as
being especially kind.
The trick is to go out of our way to be kind to others
without thinking too much about why we're doing it. As
a bonus, our kindnesses will make us happier.
A study by University of California, Riverside, social
psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky and colleagues found
that college students instructed to do a few acts of
kindness one day a week ended up being happier than a
control group of students who received no special
instructions.
As the new year begins, then, reach out and help
others. If that sounds suspiciously like an old Motown
song or like simplistic advice from one of those
do-gooder college professors, well, it is. But the
fact is that being good to others will ultimately make
us kinder, happier people - just so long as we don't
think too much about it.
by Timothy D. Wilson
NY Times 12/29/05
It's navel gazing time again, that stretch of the year
when many of us turn our attention inward and think
about how we can improve the way we live our lives.
But as we embark on this annual ritual of
introspection, we would do well to ask ourselves a
simple question: Does it really do any good?
The poet Theodore Roethke had some insight into the
matter: "Self-contemplation is a curse / That makes an
old confusion worse." As a psychologist who conducts
research on self-knowledge and happiness, I think
Roethke had a point, one that's supported by a growing
body of controlled psychological studies.
Not sure how you feel about a special person in your
life? Analyzing the pluses and minuses of the
relationship might not be the answer.
In a study I conducted with Dolores Kraft, a clinical
psychologist at the University of Texas Southwestern
Medical Center, and Dana Dunn, a social psychologist
at Moravian College in Pennsylvania, people in one
group were asked to list the reasons their
relationship with a romantic partner was going the way
it was, and then rate how satisfied they were with the
relationship. People in another group were asked to
rate their satisfaction without any analysis; they
just gave their gut reactions.
It might seem that the people who thought about the
specifics would be best at figuring out how they
really felt, and that their satisfaction ratings would
thus do the best job of predicting the outcome of
their relationships.
In fact, we found the reverse. It was the people in
the "gut feeling" group whose ratings predicted
whether they were still dating their partner several
months later. As for the navel gazers, their
satisfaction ratings did not predict the outcome of
their relationships at all. Our conclusion? Too much
analysis can confuse people about how they really
feel. There are severe limits to what we can discover
through self-reflection, and trying to explain the
unexplainable does not lead to a sudden parting of the
seas with our hidden thoughts and feelings revealed
like flopping fish.
Self-reflection is especially problematic when we are
feeling down. Research by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, a
clinical psychologist at Yale University, shows that
when people are depressed, ruminating on their
problems makes things worse.
In one study, mildly depressed college students were
asked to spend eight minutes thinking about themselves
or to spend the same amount of time thinking about
mundane topics like "clouds forming in the sky."
People in the first group focused on the negative
things in their lives and sunk into a worse mood.
People in the other group actually felt better
afterward, possibly because their negative self-focus
was "turned off" by the distraction task.
What about people like police officers and
firefighters who witness terrible events? Is it
helpful for them to reflect on their experiences?
For years it was believed that emergency workers
should undergo a debriefing process to focus on and
relive their experiences; the idea was that this would
make them feel better and prevent mental health
problems down the road. After 9/11, for example,
well-meaning counselors flocked to New York to help
police officers, firefighters and rescue workers deal
with the trauma of what they had seen.
But did it do any good? In an extensive review of the
research, a team led by Richard McNally, a clinical
psychologist at Harvard, concluded that debriefing
procedures have little benefit and might even hurt by
interrupting the normal healing process. People often
distract themselves from thinking about painful events
right after they occur, and this may be better than
mentally reliving the events.
What can we do to improve ourselves and feel happier?
Numerous social psychological studies have confirmed
Aristotle's observation that "We become just by the
practice of just actions, self-controlled by
exercising self-control, and courageous by performing
acts of courage." If we are dissatisfied with some
aspect of our lives, one of the best approaches is to
act more like the person we want to be, rather than
sitting around analyzing ourselves.
Social psychologist Daniel Batson and colleagues at
the University of Kansas found that participants who
were given an opportunity to do a favor for another
person ended up viewing themselves as kind,
considerate people - unless, that is, they were asked
to reflect on why they had done the favor. People in
that group tended in the end to not view themselves as
being especially kind.
The trick is to go out of our way to be kind to others
without thinking too much about why we're doing it. As
a bonus, our kindnesses will make us happier.
A study by University of California, Riverside, social
psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky and colleagues found
that college students instructed to do a few acts of
kindness one day a week ended up being happier than a
control group of students who received no special
instructions.
As the new year begins, then, reach out and help
others. If that sounds suspiciously like an old Motown
song or like simplistic advice from one of those
do-gooder college professors, well, it is. But the
fact is that being good to others will ultimately make
us kinder, happier people - just so long as we don't
think too much about it.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
FAAAAAAG.
just send the songs via gmail, it rules, just.. attach the songs, like two at a time... just a tip. now i'm really logging off after writing 10 comments. puh. nighty.