Dear Santa:
As you know, this year I have been reasonable. I think my behavior should qualify me as "passively good." If you wish to avoid me returning to my usual "actively bad" I would suggest you consider my request. In case your memory is foggy, think back to Hopkins Road Christmas Eve 1981, that was ME. You never expected an ambush from from under a christmas tree, did ya? How'd that wooden sleigh seat feel the rest of the night with three BBs in your fat ass? Fat or not you sure got it back up that chimney awful quick. Well, I'm bigger now and let's just say I can afford "bigger" BBs.
Now then. I expect prompt delivery of the following items:
1. one mounted raccoon head:
2. one opossum stuffed up all purty:
3. her
4. a selection of cuddlin' diseases that I can give to her as a gift:
Now tell your elves to get off their pointy little asses and go pick some up before it's too late. Hop to it, chunky.
-Erik
As you know, this year I have been reasonable. I think my behavior should qualify me as "passively good." If you wish to avoid me returning to my usual "actively bad" I would suggest you consider my request. In case your memory is foggy, think back to Hopkins Road Christmas Eve 1981, that was ME. You never expected an ambush from from under a christmas tree, did ya? How'd that wooden sleigh seat feel the rest of the night with three BBs in your fat ass? Fat or not you sure got it back up that chimney awful quick. Well, I'm bigger now and let's just say I can afford "bigger" BBs.
Now then. I expect prompt delivery of the following items:
1. one mounted raccoon head:

2. one opossum stuffed up all purty:

3. her
4. a selection of cuddlin' diseases that I can give to her as a gift:

Now tell your elves to get off their pointy little asses and go pick some up before it's too late. Hop to it, chunky.
-Erik
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
going into a deep hibernation for at least the next 24 hours. come over and watch a movie w/ me til i fall asleep?