whatsanalias

The end is near...

well in one way or another. 9 months and I hearing still heart is torn and don't know what to do. That she's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. That she's gonna look back on either decision.

I respect people's feelings and I know these decisions are tough. But still, how many people have faced having to make tough decisions. Looking back happens...but you also have the reasons you made the decision in the first place. Maybe I wouldn't be having such a problem if I didn't see the other guy as such a loser. He's pissed away so many things handed to him in life and in a lot of sense did that to Anne too. He was the one starting with a clean slate and a girl feeling like they have this metaphysical connection. Shit, for a while it was like how can I even compete.

And then she finds she can't let go of me, and feelings have been growing. Our past has been healing, although she still struggles with it occasionally.

So many times lately its seemed like things have been going so great with her and I. And then she tells me about all the things the idiot has done and how she's always pissed at him and frustrated and that he's been destroying feelings.

But then it comes up that its getting to be enough is enough and she goes right back to being totally split. I've just had it. I'm emotionally hitting rock bottom and tired of taking constant hits to my own self esteem when competing with a typical guy asshole.

I quit.